User:Qq1122qq/Punch Volume 147

2023-06-18 00:21:59

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  Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 9th, 1914.
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  Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 9th, 1914.
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  Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 9th, 1914.
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  Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 9th, 1914.
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  Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 9th, 1914.
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  Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 9th, 1914.
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  Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 9th, 1914.
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  Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 9th, 1914.
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  Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 9th, 1914.
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  Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 9th, 1914.
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  Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 9th, 1914.
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  Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 9th, 1914.
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  Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 9th, 1914.
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  Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 9th, 1914.
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  Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 9th, 1914.

2023-06-19 19:01:25

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  ["Special constables who can speak German are particularly required."—Daily paper.]Special Constable (having cornered his man). "Sprechen Sie Deutsch?"Suspect. "Nein! Nein!"Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 2th, 1914.
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  TO ARMS! Recruiting-Sergeant Punch. "NOW, MY LADS, YOUR COUNTRY WANTS YOU. WHO'S FOR THE FRONT?"Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 2th, 1914.
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  UNDER MARTIAL LAW."Now mind, Mary, if a sentry asks you who are you are, you must immediately answer, 'Friend.’""Yes, 'm, but what am I to say if he asks me how baby is?"Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 2th, 1914.
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  Officer Commanding Squad (about to cross Waterloo Bridge). "'Alt! Break step! Large columns of troops when crossin' bridges is commanded to 'break step' so that the unison of their tread may not dangerously threaten the sterbility of the bridge."Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 2th, 1914.
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  Irate Lady (firing Parthian shot after marital misunderstanding). "Yer—yer bloomin' Oolan!"Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 2th, 1914.
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  Ethel (in apprehensive whisper which easily reaches her German governess, to whom she is deeply attached). "Mother, shall we have to kill Fräulein?"Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 2th, 1914.
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  Liberty (to Belgium). "TAKE COMFORT. YOUR COURAGE IS VINDICATED; YOUR WRONGS SHALL BE AVENGED."Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 2th, 1914.
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  Another "Scrap of Paper" (K. of K.)Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 2th, 1914.
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  German Kaiser. "We are not satisfied with Our moustache; it seems to need support on the Eastern side.'Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 2th, 1914.
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  FOR NEUTRAL CONSUMPTION.Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 2th, 1914.
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  The Lady of the House. "Just the person I wanted to see. I've started ten committees in connection with the war and I want your help."Visitor. "My dear! I've just started twelve and I simply counted on you!"Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 2th, 1914.
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  Ex-Teuton (to landlady). "Ach! Madame, eet is all right! I vos Engleesh now! I have to-day mein papers of nationalization to your Home Office sent off. Dere vos several oaths by half-a-dozen peoples to be svorn. It vos a tremendous affairs!"Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 2th, 1914.
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  Should the Telephone be Used except under Medical Advice?Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 2th, 1914.
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  Sentry (suddenly appearing). "Halt! Who goes there?"Brown. "Er—season!"Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 2th, 1914.
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  The Small Man. "If I was a well set up as you I'd go an fight for my country, I would!"The Large Man. "No good, Mate. I've tried it. Told me at the War Office I would spoil the uniform appearance of any regiment, so I'm waitin' till they raise a corps of Cinema Guards."Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 2th, 1914.
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  Cover for Punch Volume 147: July-December 1914. This covers the opening months of World War I.
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  Publisher's mark found on the back of Punch Volume 147. The Whitefriars Press, Bradbury, Agnew & Co., Printers, London and Tonbridge.

2023-06-21 00:56:10

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  THE HUNTER HUNTED.[With acknowledgments to Mr. J. C. Dollman.]Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 16th, 1914.
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  MADE IN GERMANY.Kaiser. "I'M NOT QUITE SATISFIED WITH THE SWORD. PERHAPS, AFTER ALL, THE PEN IS MIGHTIER!"Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 16th, 1914.
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  Belated Reveller. "You a Speshul Conshtable?"Special Constable. "Yes." (Long pause.)B. R. "What arms 'ave yer?"S. C. "A truncheon and a whistle, and (suddenly inventive, in view of reveller's superior physique) a six-shooter."B. R. "Ah, well, I'm not takin' any fortreshes to-night."Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 16th, 1914.
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  "Mrs. Smithers, if you are unpatriotic enough to hoard your foodstuff, that is a matter for your own conscience; but please remember in future not to give me a hoarded egg for breakfast."Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 16th, 1914.
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  Teutonic Barber. "Shafe, Sir?"Customer. "Ye-es— That is, no!—I think I'll try a hair-cut."Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 16th, 1914.
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  Visitor (to Percy of "The Mauve Merriments"). "What would you charge to sing 'It’s a long way to Tipperary' into auntie's ear-trumpet?"Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 16th, 1914.
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  "Hello, Maria! Stopped sewing for to-day?""Yes, Sampson. I think there is more need of men than of pyjamas. I have decided to part with you, and shall give you to Lord Kitchener—myself! Get your hat on."Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 16th, 1914.
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  HAIL! RUSSIA!Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 16th, 1914.
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  The Rt. Hon. John Burns fails to recognise his portrait as painted by a German Press Agency artist.Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 16th, 1914.
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  THE LAST OF THE NUTS OF SANDY COVE; or, How to make use of our stay-at-homes.Lady in the background (also engaged in making night-wear for the wounded). I say! I wonder if you would be so good as to lend him to us when you've finished with him."Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 16th, 1914.
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  "I dunno 'oo Nancy is—but that there Kayzer can't be no gentleman to stand by an' see 'er knocked abaht!"Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 16th, 1914.
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  Member of Relief Committee (taking down "all particulars"). "Thank you, that's all. Oh, by the way, I haven't got your telephone Number."Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 16th, 1914.
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  A Pufflecombe Worthy speaks. "You be telling us, James Buzzicott, 'bout this 'ere Loovane there's s’much tark over in the papers, an' the destruction of a gran' ole building. But wot do ee zay, James Buzzicott, 'bout Pufflecombe and t'old 'Bell an' Horns' if us be invaded? Wot do ee zay 'bout that?"Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 16th, 1914.
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  London Scot (proud of his English). "Aw'll be hame aboot eicht o'clock the nicht, an'—"Voice of Operator (obedient to Government instructions). "No foreign languges, please."[Cut off.]Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 16th, 1914.
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  Seaside Minstrel, suspected of being an alien, is made to remove the black from his face for purposes of identification.Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 16th, 1914.
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  Anxious Mother. "I hope we've forgotten nothing, Fred?—sandwiches, spirit lamp, sugar, tea, milk, jam, ammunition, knives, forks, repeating rifle, pickles, barbed wire, &c., &c."Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 16th, 1914.

2023-06-21 23:12:54

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  THE ALIEN.Chorus. "Boo! oo kissed 'er 'and to the Kaiser larst time 'e come over? Yah! Bloomin' German!"Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 23rd, 1914.
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  NOTHING DOING.Imperial Dachshund. "HERE I'VE BEEN SITTING UP AND DOING TRICKS FOR THE BEST PART OF SEVEN WEEKS, AND YOU TAKE NO MORE NOTICE OF ME THAN IF———"Uncle Sam. "CUT IT OUT!"Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 23rd, 1914.
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  Territorial Sentry (by profession a telephone operator). "Are you there?"Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 23rd, 1914.
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  First Golfer (to friend who has come from a distance to play with him). "But, my dear chap, where are your clubs?"Second Golfer. "Hush! Not a word! I've got 'em disguised in here."Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 23rd, 1914.
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  A USE FOR ZEPPELINS.Belated Citizen (who has been lambenting the loss of his latch-key all the way home). "Hello! Here’s a bit of luck!"Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 23rd, 1914.
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  Old Lady. I've brought back this war map you sold me yesterday, Mr. Brown. It's not up to date. I've been looking all the morning for Armageddon, and can't find it marked anywhere."Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 23rd, 1914.
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  THE GREAT ILLUSION.Kaiser. "MY POOR BIRD, WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOUR TAIL-FEATHERS?"German Eagle. "CAN YOU BEAR THE TRUTH, SIRE?"Kaiser. "IF IT'S NOT FOR PUBLICATION."German Eagle. IT'S LIKE THIS, THEN. YOU TOLD ME THE BRITISH LION WAS CONTEMPTIBLE. WELL—HE WASN'T!"Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 23rd, 1914.
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  FROM OUR SPECIALLY CREDULOUS CORRESPONDENT.Stoker. "I see the torpedo approachin' us; so, without waitin' fer any orders, I dives overboard, just gives 'im a flick on 'is little rudder, an' off 'e goes to starb'd an' passes us 'armlessly by."Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 23rd, 1914.
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  Admiral of the Atlantic (to himself). It is My Imperial pleasure to present You with the Order of the Masthead Broom (First Class) in recognition of Your conspicuous success in sweeping the seas."Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 23rd, 1914.
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  The Wolff. "Good morning, my dear Little Red Riding Hood. Wouldn't you like me to tell you one of my pretty tales?"Little Miss Holland. "Thanks; but I'm not Little Red Riding Hood, and I don't want any of your fairy stories."Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 23rd, 1914.
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  Warlike Mistress, "Don't you think, James, you would like to join Lord Kitchener's Army?"Peaceful Footman. "Thank you, mum, but I don't see as 'ow I'd be bettering myself. War's for them as likes it, which I never did."Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 23rd, 1914.
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  Father (who has been stung by a wasp on the back of his neck). "I don't care if it's full of Germans, I'm not going to look up at it."Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 23rd, 1914.
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  Porter. "Do I know if the Rooshuns has really come through England? Well, Sir, if this don't prove it, I don't know what do. A train went through here full, and when it come back I knowed there'd bin Rooshuns in it, 'cause the cushions and floors was covered with snow."Illustration from the Punch magazine of September 23rd, 1914.

2023-06-25 16:22:21

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  HINTS TO MILLIONAIRES.When you bathe engage all the bathing-boxes so as to have the sea to yourself uncontaminated.Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 5th, 1914.
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  COOL STUFF.The Tabloid. "YOU CAN MAKE IT AS HOT FOR ME AS YOU LIKE, I SHALL NOT DISSOLVE."[The above is prospective. No sensible person desires a dissolution during the present crisis abroad.]Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 5th, 1914.
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  THE ETHICS OF THE RING.[Boxing champions receive almost as much pay for losing as for winning.]Manager (to applicant for position of traveller). "And what salary would you require?" Applicant. "£600 a year if I give satisfaction; £400 if I don't."Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 5th, 1914.
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  Passenger. "It's curious how these seagulls follow a steamer. Do they go far?"Boatman. "Ay, sometimes, but they'll not follow her far; she's an Aberdeen boat."Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 5th, 1914.
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  Seventy-miles-an-hour (as he hurtles past sixty-miles-an-hour). "Are you aware, Sir, that you slow-moving vehicles ought to keep close to the kerb?"Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 5th, 1914.
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  Police Sergeant (having swallowed with gurgling sounds and smacking of lips a pint of beer given him by publican at his back door after hours) to intruding Constable. "What have you come round for?"Police Constable. "I heard an unusual sound, Sir."Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 5th, 1914.
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  Mary (exploring). "Oh, look, Mummie, I've found a smuggler's cave!"Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 5th, 1914.
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  MUTUAL SERVICE.Britannia (to Peace). "I'VE BEEN DOING MY BEST FOR YOU IN EUROPE; PLEASE DO YOUR BEST FOR ME IN IRELAND."Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 5th, 1914.
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  "I have had considerable experience, perhaps a larger experience than any man in this House, of being taken to task for the actions of those who were my subordinates or my colleagues. [Laughter]."—Mr. Asquith.Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 5th, 1914.
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  [According to Mr. Healy's interpretation of what he called "a kind of foreshore doctrine of legality," the Prime Minister had laid it down that guns are liable to seizure on the shore below high water mark, but that, once they are fairly on dry land, "the proclamation has exhausted itself."]I.—Outside the Law.Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 5th, 1914.
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  [According to Mr. Healy's interpretation of what he called "a kind of foreshore doctrine of legality," the Prime Minister had laid it down that guns are liable to seizure on the shore below high water mark, but that, once they are fairly on dry land, "the proclamation has exhausted itself."]II.—Within the Law.Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 5th, 1914.
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  Golfer (playing his second round in the day). "Into this beastly bunker again, Caddie!"Caddie. "No, S'. This is the one you missed this morning."Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 5th, 1914.
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  Rev. Brown. "I'm afraid, my dear young lady, I know very little of agricultural matters; in fact I don't know the difference between a mangel and a wurzel."Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 5th, 1914.
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  A new aquatic sport has been invented. It is known as "planking," and consists in standing upon a board towed by a fast motor-boat. Some who have tried it consider the pleasure over-rated.Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 5th, 1914.
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  The Ancient Mariner. "Seen changes? I should think I 'ave, Sir. W'y, Winkleton used to be that quiet you could 'ear a pin drop! But look at it now. What with the picture palace and pierrots and them swing-boats and the penny bazaar, it's got to be a fair panharmonium!"Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 5th, 1914.

2023-06-27 23:41:07

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  "Do yer love me, 'Erb?""Love yer, 'Liza, I should jest think I does. Why, if yer ever gives me up I'll murder yer! I can't say more'n that, can I?"Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 12th, 1914.
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  BRAVO, BELGIUM!Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 12th, 1914.
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  First Politician. "Say, Bill, wot's this bloomin' Mortuarium they be tarkin' so much about?"Second Politician. "Well, ye see, it's like this. You don't pay nothin' to nobody and the Government pays it for ye.First Politician. "Well, that sounds a bit of all right, doan't it?Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 12th, 1914.
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  FINANCIAL STRINGENCY AT THE SEASIDE: A GOOD PENNYWORTH.Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 12th, 1914.
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  Customer. "But that's a fearful price for shrimp-paste."Grocer. "Ah, but these are North Sea shrimps, Madam."Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 12th, 1914.
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  "I'd give the German Emperor wot; I would, straight. I'd pull every feaver aht of 'is 'elmet."Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 12th, 1914.
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  FOR FRIENDSHIP AND HONOUR.Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 12th, 1914.
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  IN A JUST CAUSE.(Sir Edward Grey.)Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 12th, 1914.
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  "ONE TOUCH OF POTSDAM…Sir Edward Carson. "A marvellous diplomatist, this German Kaiser."Mr. John Redmond. "Yes, he's made comrades of us when everybody else had failed."Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 12th, 1914.
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  "BUSINESS AS USUAL DURING ALTERATIONS."Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 12th, 1914.
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  A SONG FOR THE HOLIDAYS."Where my caravan has rested."Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 12th, 1914.
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  Barber (to victim). "What is your opinion of the aeroplane as a military asset?"Illustration from the Punch magazine of August 12th, 1914.

2023-07-02 12:35:55

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  A QUICK CHANGE OF FRONT.Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 18th 1914.
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  WELL MET!GREAT BRITAIN JOINS HER ALLIES IN THE FIELD.Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 18th 1914.
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  AT THE OFFICIAL PRESS BUREAU.Mr. F. E. Smith (against his gallant instincts). "Permit me, Madam."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 18th 1914.
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  German Kaiser. "Donnerwetter! No wonder I've missed my appointment. The silly idiots have given me an 1870 time-table."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 18th 1914.
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  THE MONOPOLIST.Late Arrival (wishing to put his machine in bicycle rack). "Well, upon my word, this is preposterous! Caddie, who put his bicycle like that?"Caddie. "Can't say for sure, Sir. The Kaiser, I should think."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 18th 1914.
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  "IT'S AN ILL WIND…"Old Cock Grouse. "I see they've all gone shooting eagles."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 18th 1914.
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  Medical Officer. "Sorry I must reject you on account of your teeth."Would-be Recruit. "Man, ye're making a gran' mistake. I'm no wanting to bite the Germans, I'm wanting to shoot 'em."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 18th 1914.
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  The Kaiser. "WHO GOES THERE?"Spirit of Carnage. "A FRIEND—YOUR ONLY ONE."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 18th 1914.
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  Fond Mother (full of war news). "Don't go too far out, girls. You can't be too careful with all this fighting going on."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 18th 1914.
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  The Turkey Buzzard (to the Sea Eagle). "You may call yourself a Turkey Buzzard if you like, but they'll still know you by your white feather."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 18th 1914.
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  First Old Lady. "My dear, what do you think of this war? Isn't it terrible?"Second Old Lady. "Awful! But it can't last long; the Powers will surely intervene."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 18th 1914.
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  The Patriot. "Hoard my gold! I'd starve first.!"Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 18th 1914.
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  THE LOCAL TOUCH.East Anglian. "Tell yow what that is, Sir: that there Kaiser 'e 'ont never be satisfied until 'e 's ruined Mudborough."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 18th 1914.
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  A BRAVE MAN."Larger lager, waiter."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 18th 1914.

2023-07-04 16:30:18

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  FAIR LOOT.John Bull, A.B. "Well, I didn't start out for this; but there can't be any harm in picking up a good thing."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  THE COMING OF THE COSSACKS.Wilhelm II. "WHAT IS THIS DISTANT RUMBLING THAT I HEAR? DOUBTLESS THE PLAUDITS OF MY PEOPLE!"Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  Zealous Policeman (on German Spy duty, having got motorist's name and address, etc., and received, in answer to his further question, "And is this lady your wife!" a torrent of oaths very much in the vernacular). "Oh! pass along; you're a Britisher all right."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  German Bird.. "I see it doesn't say anything about eagles."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  The Hohenzollern (megaphonically). Take courage, my brave Germans. Your Kaiser is prepared to sacrifice a million of you."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  A FAUX PAS.London Hawker (addressing obvious Teuton). "Wear yer flag, Sir."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  A DESPERATE MEASURE.West Country Skipper (stationary in small Cornish port and ignorant of our Navy's control of the sea). "If I puts out an' goes East I be sunk by t' Germans, an' if I goes South I be sunk by t' Austria-'Ungrians. It du seem as 'ow I were best to bide where I be an' gi' t’ old ship a coat o' paaint!"Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  HOW WE SAVED THE HARVEST AT SLOSHINGTON-ON-SEA.Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  THE TRIUMPH OF "CULTURE."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  "'Ere, I don't arf like the look o' this, Bill."Work-shy Willy. "No, more don't I, mate. Cuss that there Kaiser!"Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  "Better 'ave one and read about it now, Sir; it might be conteradicted in the morning."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  Trooper. "Come on behind here and travel with us, Jim!"Jim (from horse-box). "Not much. None of your third-class for me!"Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  Burglar (to his mate). "See wot people gits fur bein' unpatriotic! It's a pure treat to give these 'ere gold 'oarders a lesson."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  Excited Veteran. "The Allies will probably reach here and then sweep round with a sudden flanking movement."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  THE NORTH SEA PERIL."By Jove, I pity the Germans if she gets hold of 'em!"Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.

2023-07-06 23:10:28

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  Taking no risks.Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  BOER AND BRITON TOO.General Botha (composing telegram to the Kaiser). "JUST OFF TO REPEL ANOTHER RAID. YOUR CUSTOMARY WIRE OF CONGRATULATION SHOULD BE ADDRESSED: BRITISH HEADQUARTERS—GERMAN SOUTH-WEST AFRICA.""Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  Incredulous friend (to soldier invalided home). "What—you captured ten Germans by yourself? Good gracious! How did you do it?"Tommy. "I just shouted out 'Waiter!' and they came along."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  Mabel. "Mother, dear! I do hope this war won't be over before I finish my sock!"Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  Enthusiast (explaining the situation). "Let this 'ere meat-axe be the Russians a-comin' in on the East; the carvin'-knife's the Frenchies along 'ere; our boys is the mustard-pot; and 'ere's the Germans—this 'ere plate o' tripe."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  "Great Scott! I must do something. Dashed if I don't get some more flags for the old jigger!"Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  Youthful Patriot. "Oh, mummy, you must speak to baby: he's most awfully naughty. He won't let nurse take his vest off, and (in an awe-struck voice) he keeps on screaming and yelling that he likes the Germans! Anybody might hear him."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  THE GREAT GOTH.DESIGN FOR A STAINED-GLASS WINDOW IN A NEO-GOTHIC CATHEDRAL AT POTSDAM.Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  Newly-gazetted Subaltern. "Girls! girls! you really mustn't crowd round me like this. I've missed two salutes already!"Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  Humorist (to Cinema Commissionaire). "Now ven, Wilhelm, give us one or two goose-steps!"Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  Scene: Playground of sand in a London park.Old Lady. "That little boy looks very lonely. Why don't you ask him to play with you?"Little Girl. "Ow, don't tike do notice of 'im, lidy. 'E's swankin' 'cos 'e's 'bin to the seaside."Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  THE BULL-DOG BREED.Officer. "Now, my lad, do you know what you are placed here for?"Recruit. "To prevent the henemy from landin', Sir."Officer. "And do you think that you could prevent him landing all by yourself?"Recruit. "Don't know, Sir, I'm sure. But I'd have a dam good try!"Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.
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  Perhaps the London public would feel more secure if our guardian airship were made in this pattern.Illustration from Punch Magazine, August 26th 1914.

2023-07-12 17:33:26

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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 7th 1914.The Old Man. "I see by the paper here that the Rooshians are attacking a town they spell P-R-Z-M-Y-S-L. D'ye think, now, wud that be a mistake of the printer's or wud the letters of it be mixed up, like, wi' the bombardment?"
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 7th 1914.First Native. "We're doin' fine at the war, Jarge."Second Native. "Yes, Jahn; and so be they Frenchies."First Native. "Ay; an' so be they Belgians an' Rooshians."Second Native. "Ay; an' so be they Allys. Oi dunno where they come from, Jahn, but they be devils for fightin'."
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 7th 1914.ENTERPRISE ON OUR EAST COAST.The Anti-Zeppelin bath-chair.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 7th 1914."I'm sorry to 'ave to say, Mum, 'e's bin a very bad dog whilst you was hout. 'E's bin an' eat up 'is patriotic ribbon."
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 7th 1914.Doctor (at Ambulance Class). "My dear lady, do you realise that this lad's ankle was supposed to be broken before you bandaged it?"
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 7th 1914.SOME OF THE GREATEST FIGURES OF ALL AGESRecently discovered, by German research, to have been of Teutonic birth.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 7th 1914.Cyclist (taking initiative on being caught without a light.) "Douse your glim, mate; we'll be having them Zeppelins all over us."
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 7th 1914.THE ROAD TO RUSSIA.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 7th 1914.Unreported casualty to the football of the 85th Infantry Regiment of the enemy.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 7th 1914."Oh, lumme! you've mixed 'em up now. I dunno which is which."
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 7th 1914."No!—no 'im—that's father!"
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 7th 1914."That's the chap—'im wivout a collar!"
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 7th 1914."Farver finks he's got a German spy. 'E's sittin' on 'is 'ead. 'E'll need 'elp—muvver's out!"
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 7th 1914."I 'opes yer mistress'll 'scuse me bein' so late with the washin'. Yer see, I dussent come in daylight for fear of the Government pinchin' my 'orse for the war."
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 7th 1914.Recruiting Officer. "What's the good of coming here and saying you're only seventeen years old? Go and walk round that yard and come back and see if you're not nineteen."
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 7th 1914.Very proper Cook (horrified at reports of German atrocities). "Really, Mum, it seems as if the Germans are not at all the thing."
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 7th 1914.THE INCORRIGIBLES.New Arrival at the Front. WHAT'S THE PROGRAMME?"Old Hand. WELL, YOU LAY DOWN IN THIS WATER, AND YOU GET PEPPERED ALL DAY AND NIGHT, AND YOU HAVE THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE!"New Arrival. "SOUNDS LIKE A BIT OF ALL RIGHT. I'M ON IT!"
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 7th 1914.Hawker. "This ain't my usual way o' gittin' a livin', lidy; but, owin' to the war, I———"Housekeeper. "That's all nonsense! Why, to my knowledge you have been about for the past ten years."Hawker. "You'll pardon me, lidy, but I'm referrin' to the Souf Afrikin War."

2023-07-12 17:40:52

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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 14th 1914.Study of a veteran who has sent all his blankets to Kitchener's Army and never slept better in his life.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 14th 1914.A NORTH SEA CHANTEY.(To the tune of "Tipperary.")Jack. "IT'S A LONG, LONG WAIT FOR WILLIAM'S NAVY,BUT MY HEART'S RIGHT HERE."
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 14th 1914.Officer. "What in thunder have you been doing all the morning? This leather's not dressed; there's mud on it still!"Recruit (ex-Cyclist). "Sorry, Sir, but I've spent most of my time polishing the pedals."
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 14th 1914.THE WAR ON GERMAN COMMERCE."We are glad to hear, Mr. Wilton, that you have volunteered for active service. We are proud to know that you are ready to do your duty as a Briton. We shall be pleased to keep your place open for you during your absence. And, Mr. Wilton, you might take a few thousand of our circulars in your knapsack to be distributed among the enemy in the regrettable event of your being taken prisoner."
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 14th 1914.RURAL LIFE UNDER WAR CONDITIONS.Our village errand-boy.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 14th 1914.Little Brown, who is in a hurry to catch his train, but finds it impossible to get by owing to the crush, is struck by a brilliant idea. "Form—two deep!" 2/2
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 14th 1914.Little Brown, who is in a hurry to catch his train, but finds it impossible to get by owing to the crush, is struck by a brilliant idea. "Form—two deep!" 1/2
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 14th 1914.FACTS FROM THE FRONT.We learn (from German sources) that the Professors of a celebrated Prussian University have conferred the honorary degree of Doctor upon a distinguished General on his departure for the front.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 14th 1914.GIVING THE SHOW AWAY.German Press Bureau Photographer. "COSTUME PERFECT, SIRE—ACCESSORIES ADMIRABLE; BUT, IN VIEW OF ALL THESE VICTORIES, DARE WE SUGGEST THAT THE EXPRESSION MIGHT BE JUST A TOUCH MORE JUBILANT?"
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 14th 1914.Public-house Diplomatist (to second ditto, with whom he has been discussing the ultimate terms of peace at Berlin). "I shouldn't be too 'ard on 'em. I'd leave 'em a bit of the Rhine to sing abaht!"
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 14th 1914."Now then, Tommy—got some good news for me to-night—eh? what?""Yes, Sir: Kitchener wants another recruit."
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 14th 1914.INTELLIGENT ANTICIPATION.Ethel. "Now that I've got this nice map, will you tell me just where to put the little flags, Dad? I want to keep it right up to date."Dad (preoccupied with his paper). "H'm—well—better just stick 'em all in Berlin, and—wait."
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 14th 1914.How the cubist, by a mere alteration of titles, achieved a ready sale of unmarketable pictures.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 14th 1914.Sergeant (looking for likely talent). "Does your horse jump at all?"Recruit. "Oh no, Sir, thank you. He's a very nice horse!"
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine, October 14th 1914.Special Constable (to suspicious lounger). "Now, look here, if you don't clear off, I'll—tell you what I'll do—I'll call a policeman!"

2023-07-15 19:41:56

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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.The Theft.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.An Awkward Moment for Richard.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.The Duel at the Mill.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.The Rescue. [Inset—the Cinema Shark, 3s. 6d.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.Another Awkward Moment.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.Over the Precipice.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.Richard Recovers the Letters.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.A MASTERPIECE IN THE MAKING.Lord Lansdowne (Art Dealer, to Mr. Asquith). "YES, I QUITE SEE YOUR IDEA—A FIGURE OF PEACE; BUT, SINCE YOU INVITE SUGGESTIONS FROM ME, I SHOULD SAY THAT ADDITION OF A FEW RECOGNISABLE SYMBOLS, SUCH AS A PAIR OF WINGS, OR A DOVE, OR AN OLIVE-BRANCH, MIGHT HELP TO MAKE IT CORRESPOND MORE CLEARLY WITH MY PUBLIC'S NOTION OF THE GODDESS IN QUESTION."
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914."EXTRY SPESHUL!"
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.Lord Morley. "Thanks, I won't trouble you; I still have a crust left."["The noble marquis seemed to regard the Government as a shipwrecked mariner—I presume a pirate. If I am a pirate he is the last man to whom I should think of applying for aid, unless the distress was dire indeed."Lord Morley.]
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.THE "FRESH AIR FUND": AN APRECIATION."There, now, ain't that a treat, Billy? There ain't no country in the world I like so much as England."
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.Why should not persevering Peter of the push-bike adopt, when travelling, the same supercilious attitude as languid Lionel of the touring-car de luxe.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.Tramp (suddenly appearing at riverside camping party). "Beg yer pardon, Guv'nor, but could yer lend me a bathin' suit?"
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.Polite Little Boy (suffering from repletion.) "Oh, please, Miss, don't ask me to have any more; I can't say no."
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.This picture illustrates the deadly struggle which goes on daily between rival seaside resorts. It represents a party of hirelings in the pay of Wobblethorpe-on-Sea engaged in running up the rainfall of Little Blinkington.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.A MESSAGE FROM THE SEA.Romantic Tripper. "Tell me, have you ever picked up any bottles on the beach?"Boatman. "Werry often, Miss!"Romantic Tripper. "And have you found anything in them?"Boatman. Not a blessed drop, Miss!"
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.BEATEN ON POINTS.L. C. C. Tram. "HARD LINES ON ME!"Motor-'Bus. "YES, IT'S ALWAYS HARD LINES WITH YOU, MY BOY. THAT'S WHAT'S THE MATTER; YOU CAN'T SIDE-STEP."
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914."Who's the little man holding his racket that funny way?""Oh, that's Mr. Binks. He takes the plate round in church, you know."
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914."My dear old fellow! what's the matter? The sea's like a duck-pond.""I know, old boy—but I've taken six—different—remedies.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.She. Herbert, I can't find my bathing-dress anywhere!"He. "She if you've got it on."
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.THE ANNUAL PROBLEM.Showing how helpfully the hoardings distinguish between the characteristic features of various localities.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.A LONG-FELT WANT.The Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Motor Cycles.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.Mr. Punch's Holiday Pages.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.A jolly bathing party.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.Tennis at the Vicarage.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.Our dear old friend, the foreign spy (cunningly disguised as a golfer), visits our youngest suburb one Saturday afternoon in quest of further evidence of our lethargy, general decadence and falling birth-rate. He gets a shock and at once telegraphs to his commander-in-chief urging that the conquest of the British Isles be undertaken before the present generation is many years older.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.[Jones, secretary to the South Sea Islanders' Regeneration Society, who is suffering from nerves, is recommended a very remote sea-coast retreat for his summer holiday. With his wife and family he tries it. The manager of a certain cinema company likewise chooses this particular spot for his company to rehearse their powerful new drama, "Down among the Dead Men."]Miss Jones. "Wake up, Dad, we're going to bathe."
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.[Jones, secretary to the South Sea Islanders' Regeneration Society, who is suffering from nerves, is recommended a very remote sea-coast retreat for his summer holiday. With his wife and family he tries it. The manager of a certain cinema company likewise chooses this particular spot for his company to rehearse their powerful new drama, "Down among the Dead Men."]First Act of the Drama.—After the wreck: Desmond and Rosemary washed ashore on the Cannibal Island.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.[Jones, secretary to the South Sea Islanders' Regeneration Society, who is suffering from nerves, is recommended a very remote sea-coast retreat for his summer holiday. With his wife and family he tries it. The manager of a certain cinema company likewise chooses this particular spot for his company to rehearse their powerful new drama, "Down among the Dead Men."]Jones (to the rescue). "Devils! fiends! untie that white man!"
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.[Jones, secretary to the South Sea Islanders' Regeneration Society, who is suffering from nerves, is recommended a very remote sea-coast retreat for his summer holiday. With his wife and family he tries it. The manager of a certain cinema company likewise chooses this particular spot for his company to rehearse their powerful new drama, "Down among the Dead Men."]The Cinema Manager explains. "Sorry to have caused you any inconvenience, Sir—merely rehearsing 'Down among the Dead Men'—dam fine drama, Sir—we produce same at the Opera 'Ouse, Croydon, on the 16th."
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.Surf-rider. "I'm almost sure this isn't a bit the way it's done in those illustrated papers!"
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.Early Tripper. "Makes yer feel like old Napoleon at what's-its-name!"
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.The Captain. "The bloomin' vice-president's forgot the stumps. Young Bill 'ere better be the wicket—'e wants to play and 'e's too little to bat agin swift bowlin'!"
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.APT NOMENCLATURE IN OUR GARDEN SUBURB.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.Native (having seen his rival tipped by guileless visitor). "'E's swindled yer, Sir. I'm the oldest inhabitant—ninety-four come Sunday three weeks. 'E's only a younster of eighty-two."
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.Even in his play the scientist's child is scientific.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.THE POLITICAL JUNGLE (part 1)
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.THE POLITICAL JUNGLE (part 2)
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.A FULL JOY-DAY.How an energetic visitor contrived to sample nearly all the attractions of Worplethorpe-on-Sea (as advertised by the municipality) in the course of a one-day's trip.9 to 10.30 a.m.—Bathing and fishing.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.A FULL JOY-DAY.How an energetic visitor contrived to sample nearly all the attractions of Worplethorpe-on-Sea (as advertised by the municipality) in the course of a one-day's trip.3 to 4.30 p.m.—Croquet and archaeology.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.A FULL JOY-DAY.How an energetic visitor contrived to sample nearly all the attractions of Worplethorpe-on-Sea (as advertised by the municipality) in the course of a one-day's trip.4.30 to 6 p.m.—Golf and geology.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.A FULL JOY-DAY.How an energetic visitor contrived to sample nearly all the attractions of Worplethorpe-on-Sea (as advertised by the municipality) in the course of a one-day's trip.10.30 a.m. to 12 (noon).—Shooting and cycling.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.A FULL JOY-DAY.How an energetic visitor contrived to sample nearly all the attractions of Worplethorpe-on-Sea (as advertised by the municipality) in the course of a one-day's trip.6 to 7.30 p.m.—Sketching and donkey-riding.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.A FULL JOY-DAY.How an energetic visitor contrived to sample nearly all the attractions of Worplethorpe-on-Sea (as advertised by the municipality) in the course of a one-day's trip.12 to 1.30 p.m.—Tennis and botany.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.RACE-COURSE OF THE NEAR FUTURE, SUFFRAGETTE-PROOF.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.Smith, who always wears the native costume when fishing in the highlands (his great-grand-aunt's step father having been a MacGregor) finds the midges somewhat troublesome. A little ingenuity however overcomes the difficulty.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.THE "SPASMO" CANOELET.It is a reluctant starter.When it does start, it starts.It laughs at locks.It ends as a hydro-aeroplane.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.LUNCH "SCORES."
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.THE EMANCIPATION OF THE EAST.The Grand Visier, a master of polygamy, regrets the vogue of the cinema as an educative force.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.Complaints are heard from holiday-makers on their return that the holiday has failed to benefit them. This is due to lack of preparatory training at home.Harden the feet for Beach-walking.Accustom the lungs to marine aromas.Prepare to receive the buffetting of Neptune.Toughen the interior for a lodging-house diet.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.The Abduction.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 8th, 1914.The Escape.

2023-07-16 09:50:35

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  Illustration from "Punch", October 21st, 1914.The following incident has been forwarded by the Special Constable himself, but the Authorities will not permit the publication of his actual portrait:—Small Boy (suddenly noticing Special Constable). "Look aht! Copper!"Girl. "Where?"Boy. "There—agin fence."Girl. "Garn, silly—frightenin' me!"
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  Illustration from "Punch", October 21st, 1914.THE GREATER GAME.Mr. Punch (to Professional Association Player). "NO DOUBT YOU CAN MAKE MONEY IN THIS FIELD, MY FRIEND, BUT THERE'S ONLY ONE FIELD TO-DAY WHERE YOU CAN GET HONOUR."[The Council of the Football Association apparently proposes to carry out the full programme of the Cup Competition, just as if the country did not need the services of all its athletes for the serious business of War.]
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  Illustration from "Punch", October 21st, 1914.Alf (reading French news). "All the cinemas in Calais are shut up. My word! That brings the horrors of war pretty close home!"
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  Illustration from "Punch", October 21st, 1914.The St. John Ambulance Association, which forms part of the Red Cross Organisation of Great Britain, derives its name and traditions from the Order of St. John of Jerusalem (Knights Hospitallers), founded at the time of the Crusades. It has at this moment many thousands of workers engaged in tending the wounded at the seat of war and in the hospitals of the Order.In peace time it does not appeal to the public for subscriptions, but under the stress of war it finds itself in urgent need of help, and absolutely compelled to ask for funds. Gifts should be sent to the Chief Secretary, Colonel Sir Herbert C. Perrott, Bt., C.B., at St. John's Gate, Clerkenwell, E.C., and cheques should be crossed "London County and Westminster Bank, Lothbury," and made payable to the St. John Ambulance Association. In aid of its work, a Concert (at which Madame Patti will sing) is to be given at the Albert Hall on Saturday afternoon, October 24th.
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  Illustration from "Punch", October 21st, 1914.Irish would-be Recruit. "Beg parson, Captain, but the man in there won't let me go to fight because of me eye."Captain. "Have you ever been in the Army?"Would-be Recruit. "I have, sorr."Captain. "What regiment?"Would-be Recruit. "Me brother was in the Leisters."
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  Illustration from "Punch", October 21st, 1914.WHY HAVE WE NO SUPERMEN LIKE THE GERMANS?How they might brighten Regent Street.
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  Illustration from "Punch", October 21st, 1914.WHY HAVE WE NO SUPERMEN LIKE THE GERMANS?How they might wake up our restaurants.
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  Illustration from "Punch", October 21st, 1914.And honour us with their gallantry.
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  Illustration from "Punch", October 21st, 1914.WHY HAVE WE NO SUPERMEN LIKE THE GERMANS?And, best of all, how amusing to see them meet a super-superman.
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  Illustration from "Punch", October 21st, 1914.Storm of righteous indignation at the enemy's headquarters on their being shown a "barbarous and disgusting engine of war" in use by the Allies. [The Germans have taken a strong objection to the French 75m/m gun.
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  Illustration from "Punch", October 21st, 1914.UNCONQUERABLE.The Kaiser. "SO, YOU SEE—YOU'VE LOST EVERYTHING."The King of the Belgians. "NOT MY SOUL."
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  Illustration from "Punch", October 21st, 1914.Lady Midas (to friend.) "Yes, do come to dinner on Friday. Only I must caution you that it will be an absolute picnic, for my fourth and sixth footmen have just enlisted."
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  Illustration from "Punch", October 21st, 1914."Pfutsch! Dey vas just a few tings vat I use to frighden der cats from mein garten!"
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  Illustration from "Punch", October 21st, 1914.Nurse. "Goodness me! what 'ave you been doing to your dolls?"Joan. "Charlie's killed them! He said they were made in Germany, and how were we to know they weren't spies?"
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  Illustration from "Punch", October 21st, 1914.Boy Scout. "'Xcuse me, mum. 'Av yer seen any Germans about 'ere?"
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  Illustration from "Punch", October 21st, 1914.Lady (diligent reader of spy articles and exposures of Anglo-German businesses) to alien window-cleaner. "Look here: you needn't come any more."Window Cleaner. "Endirely Bridisch Gombany, Lady."Lady. Yes, I daresay. But for all I know you might be part of the flower of the German Army."
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  Illustration from "Punch", October 21st, 1914."It 'tain't 'arf fine ter be a General, cos 'e can call a bloke 'Pooden Fice,' an' 'ave 'im shot if 'e sorces 'im back."

2023-07-17 22:13:08

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  Illustration from "Punch", July 29th, 1914.Bather. I say! I say! the current is frightfully strong; I'm being carried out."Bathing Attendant. "All right, Sir, all right! I've got me eye on yer!"
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 29th, 1914.THE POWER BEHIND.Austria (at the ultimatum stage.) "I DON'T QUITE LIKE HIS ATTITUDE. SOMEBODY MUST BE BACKING HIM."
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 29th, 1914.Glossomany is the new science which enables you to read people's characters by the shape and size of their tongues. The above candidate for the position of parlour-maid is in the act of responding to an inquiry as to whether she is honest, industrious, good-tempered, truthful and obligin. There is fear that her action, though purely scientific, may prove fatal to the intelligent girl's chances.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 29th, 1914.The Captain of the Preparatory School. "Well, youngster, what is it? Want my autograph?"
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 29th, 1914.Village Worthy. "Ah, I used to be as fond of a drop o' beer as anyone, but nowadays if I do take two or dree gallons it do knock I over!"
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 29th, 1914.Anglo-Indian Child. "What's this, Daddy?"Father. "That's liver, my dear."Child. "Liver! Whose liver?"Father. "Sheep's liver."Child. "Ah! I wonder what gave it liver!"
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 29th, 1914.THE GIRL OF THE PERIOD.New Maid, "Voilâ, Ma'm'selle."Débutante. "Heavens, my good girl, that won't do. Here, give me the things. Why, half-way across the room n oone would see I was made up at all!"
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 29th, 1914.WHAT OF THE DAWN?
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 29th, 1914.Snapshots of certain Members who were not on their way to or from the Conference. Their expressions reflect the pessimistic view which they entertained from the first as to its chance of success in their absence.(Sir William Byles, Mr. Hogge, Mr. Keir Hardie, Mr. John Ward, Mr. William O'Brien, Mr. Winston Churchill.)
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 29th, 1914.Waiter. "What sauce will you take wiz your fish, Sair?"Polite Customer. "Well, what disinfectants have you?"
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 29th, 1914.Suggestion for developing a "White Hope" amongst our 'bus- and taxi-drivers.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 29th, 1914.SOCIETY NOTES.We are sorry to hear that, through the inconsiderate action of the antiquated people who still take dogs to the park, the pet rat of Lady Piper had a narrow escape from what might have been a serious accident.
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 29th, 1914.Humorous Artist. "I've brought you an original funny joke this time. A friend of mine thought of it."Editor (after reading it). "Yes, it is funny; but I prefer the drawing that was published with it in the 'seventies!'"
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  Illustration from "Punch", July 29th, 1914.The Caddie who saw the fairies.

2023-07-18 17:38:15

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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, October 28th, 1914."It's all very well, Jarge, for you t' say why don't Kitchener an' French do this an' that? but what I say is, it don't do for you an' me t' say anythink what might embarrass either of 'em."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, October 28th, 1914.THE LIMIT.Scene: The Coast of Belgium.The Kaiser: "'WHAT ARE THE WILD WAVES SAYING?'"Wild Waves: "WE WERE JUST SAYING, 'THUS FAR, AND NO FARTHER!'"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, October 28th, 1914.Genial Person (to retired Colonel, who for the past two months has put in fourteen hours a day recruiting). "Lovely morning, Sir. I see you're on our side."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, October 28th, 1914.Mary Jane (at climax of fearsul story of German spy). And when the police searched the cellars they found enough ambition to blow up the whole of London."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, October 28th, 1914.The Recruit here portrayed, being most anxious to get into Kitchener's Army, is determined to accommodate himself to any conditions as they arise.Officer (filling in form). "What's your religion?"Zealous Recruit. "Well, what are you short of?"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, October 28th, 1914.Patriotic Teacher. "'England expects———' Now, will one of you boys finish the sentence? 'England expects ———'"Bright Pupil. "To win!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, October 28th, 1914.First Trooper. "That's a nice pair of Oolan boots you got there, Bill."Second Trooper. "Yes; not bad. Had to knock out six of the blighters afore I got a pair to fit me!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, October 28th, 1914.A PLAIN DUTY.Britannia (to Holland.) "MY RESOURCES AND MY OBLIGATIONS ARE GERATER THAN YOURS; LET THIS SERVICE FALL UPON ME."[The number of Belgian refugees in Holland is probably ten times as great as the number in England.]
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, October 28th, 1914."Well, William, heard anything of your son?""No, Miss; but they'll send 'e to the front right away. 'E be just the man they be wantin' there.""I'm sure he is. But why do you think he will go straight to the front?""Why, you see, Miss, 'e'll be able to show 'em the way about. 'E was at the Boer War, an' knows all them furrin' parts."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, October 28th, 1914.I.II.III."Morning, mate. Bit breezy for getting a light, ain't it?"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, October 28th, 1914.Some of our Soldiers, who were within seventy yards of the German trenches, hoisted an improvised target. The Germans did the same. Both sides signalled the result of the shooting.First Tommy. "Get down! Do you want 'em to cop yer?"Second Tommy. "Blimy! The perishers signalled my bull a miss, and I'm just agoin' to 'op over an' tell 'em abaht it."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, October 28th, 1914.Sportsman. "Last two cartridges, Dan. What's to be done now?"Dan'l. "Ye'll hev to take to the bainit, Colonel."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, October 28th, 1914.Scene: A Recruiting Station in Ireland. In order not to lose a stalwart recruit who happens to be under the standard height measurement the examining officer makes a brilliant suggestion to Sergeant O'Flanagan——which suggestion Sergeant O'Flanagan carries out with a highly satisfactory result.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, October 28th, 1914.A GARGOYLE OF NÔTRE DAME DE PARIS.(With acknowledgments to the etching by M. Méryon.)Spirits of evil, when they're thrownOut of a Church, are turned to stone;But the above was petrifiedEven before he got inside.

2023-07-20 09:39:52

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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 1st, 1914.'Epilogue'
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 1st, 1914.'Finis'
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 1st, 1914.'Index'
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 1st, 1914.Vol. Cxlvii. [Vol. 147.]
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 1st, 1914.WHEN THE SHIPS COME HOME.Greece. "ISN'T IT TIME WE STARTED FIGHTING AGAIN?"Turkey. "YES, I DARESAY. HOW SOON COULD YOU BEGIN?"Greece. "OH, IN A FEW WEEKS."Turkey. "NO GOOD FOR ME. SHAN'T BE READY TILL THE AUTUMN."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 1st, 1914."We're giving our pastor a new drawing-room carpet on the occasion of his jubilee. Show me something that looks nice but isn't too expensive.""Here is the very thing, Madame—real Kidderminster."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 1st, 1914."Excuse me, Sir, but would you like to buy a nice little dawg?""No, thanks very much. He looks as though he would bite.""'E won't bite yer if you buy 'im, Guv'ner."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 1st, 1914.THE HIGHER EDUCATION OF WOMEN.Mistress. "That's a nicely-made dress you have on, Jane. It's like the new parlourmaid's, isn't it?"Jane (a close student of the fashion catalogues). "Oh no, Ma'am, this is quite a different creation."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 1st, 1914.KINDNESS TO SUBJECTS.[One of our illustrated papers recently published a picture of the King of Spain in a motor-car which had broken down. The car was being pushed along by some helpful people, and the comment on the picture was, "It is these thoughtful little acts that make royalty so popular nowadays." Lest it should be thought that the other potentates of Europe take less trouble to make themselves beloved by their subjects, we hasten to give a few instances which have come to our notice.]Last week the King of Cadonia had his hat blown off in the Blumengarten (the beautiful park near the Royal Palace). This kindly act should deepen the affection in which the monarch is held by his people.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 1st, 1914.KINDNESS TO SUBJECTS.[One of our illustrated papers recently published a picture of the King of Spain in a motor-car which had broken down. The car was being pushed along by some helpful people, and the comment on the picture was, "It is these thoughtful little acts that make royalty so popular nowadays." Lest it should be thought that the other potentates of Europe take less trouble to make themselves beloved by their subjects, we hasten to give a few instances which have come to our notice.]A few days ago the Crown Prince of Schlossrattenheim had an accident with his aeroplane, which overturned near Schutzmeer. Fortunately his Royal Highness fell on a retired Wuerst-haendler who was walking on the beach.The Crown Prince's devotion to his beloved subjects is well known, and this tactful deed was only another instance of it.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 1st, 1914.KINDNESS TO SUBJECTS.[One of our illustrated papers recently published a picture of the King of Spain in a motor-car which had broken down. The car was being pushed along by some helpful people, and the comment on the picture was, "It is these thoughtful little acts that make royalty so popular nowadays." Lest it should be thought that the other potentates of Europe take less trouble to make themselves beloved by their subjects, we hasten to give a few instances which have come to our notice.]Yesterday Prince John of Pumpenhosen inadvertently collided with a pleasure-yacht at the mouth of the harbour of Krebs while trying a new motor boat. All the passengers were saved and the Prince showed no signs of fear.This should enhance his great popularity, if such a thing were possible.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 1st, 1914.KINDNESS TO SUBJECTS.[One of our illustrated papers recently published a picture of the King of Spain in a motor-car which had broken down. The car was being pushed along by some helpful people, and the comment on the picture was, "It is these thoughtful little acts that make royalty so popular nowadays." Lest it should be thought that the other potentates of Europe take less trouble to make themselves beloved by their subjects, we hasten to give a few instances which have come to our notice.]King Stephan III. of Servilia, while playing on the links at Nibliksk last week, initiated one of his equerries into the humour of the game. By this thoughtful act his Majesty adds to the deserved love and reverence in which he is held by the Servilians of all classes.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 1st, 1914.Alan (to his mother, who is busy with a heavy house-cleaning). "Please, Mother, read me a story."
• 
  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 1st, 1914.THE EMERGENCY EXIT.Scene—A Tight Place.Child Herbert (to "Wicked Baron"). "MY LORD, I HAVE EVER REGARDED YOU AS A PESTILENT VILLAIN—NAY WORSE, AN HEREDITARY IMBECILE. I THEREFORE RELY ON YOUR BENEFICENT WISDOM TO FIND ME A WAY OUT OF THIS SINISTER WOOD."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 1st, 1914.Wicket-keeper (Mr. Cassel). "How's that?"Umpire (Mr. Speaker). "Out!"Batsman (Mr. Lloyd George). "Rotten antiquated rule!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 1st, 1914."Bill presented to Lords as a sort of lay-figure, which they may, in accordance with taste and conviction, suitably clothe."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 1st, 1914.GARDEN CITY WASHING-DAY.Our sensitive artist insists on a harmonious colour-scheme.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 1st, 1914.GREAT ECONOMY EFFECTED BY CO-OPERATION IN ADVERTISEMENT.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 1st, 1914."Are you Mrs. Pilkington-Haycock?""No.""Well, I am, and this is her pew."
• 
  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 1st, 1914.HOW TO UTILISE THE ART OF "SUGGESTION."The Doctor, six down at the turn, "suggests" to his opponent that they are playing croquet, and wins by two and one."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 1st, 1914.Bargain: Two-seater, with most of the accessories; only done fifty miles; water-cooled engine; owner giving up driving.

2023-07-20 18:24:36

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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 15th, 1914.One advantage about these absolutely remote country cottages is that you can wear out some of the costumes in which you went to the fancy balls this season.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 15th, 1914.THE LIBERAL CAVE-MEN;OR, A HOLT FROM THE BLUE.Harassed Chancellor. "IT'S NOT SO MUCH FOR MY FEET THAT I MIND—THEY'RE HARDENED AGAINST THIS KIND OF THING; BUT I DO HATE ROCKS ON MY HEAD."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 15th, 1914.THE MARCH OF CIVILISATION IN IRELAND.Tim. "Well, Patsy, are ye afther building an addition to yer house?"Patsy. "Shure and the hins likes a place to thimsilves."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 15th, 1914.MORE SACRIFICES TO SPEED.The "Minim Kid-Fit."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 15th, 1914.THE WORLD'S WORKERS.Little Girl. "Please, Mrs. Murphy, Muvver says, if it's fine to-morrer, will you go beggin' with 'er?"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 15th, 1914.Wife (with some sadness). "Ah, well, Henry, I suppose it's a bit too late for you to think of that now."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 15th, 1914.JOSEPH CHAMBERLAIN.JULY 2nd, 1914.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 15th, 1914."Prospective first Speaker of a modern Irish Parliament."(Mr. Swift MacNeill.)
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 15th, 1914.TIM BUONAPARTE.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 15th, 1914.AN EX-VICEREGAL BAG. (Earl Curzon.)
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 15th, 1914.AN UNTRUSTWORTHY WITNESS.Mother. "Gerald, a little bird has just told me that you have been a very naughty little boy this afternoon."Gerald. "Don't you believe him, Mummy. I'll bet he's the one that steals our raspberries."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 15th, 1914.THE CREATION OF A MASTERPIECE OF MILLINERY.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 15th, 1914.Counsel. "Prisoner is the man you saw commit the theft?"Witness (a bookmaker). "Yes, sir."Counsel. "You swear on your oath that prisoner is the man?"Witness. "Yes, sir."Sporting Judge. "Are you prepared to give me five to two on the prisoner being the man?"Witness. "Ah, I'm sorry, me lord, but I'm taking a holiday to-day. Nothing doing."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 15th, 1914.Lady (to Nut who has talked of joining the Nationalist Volunteers). "But you don't mean to say, surely, you're going to fight?"Nut. "Well, I rather thought of pairing with one of the Ulster fellows."

2023-07-21 22:22:53

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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 22nd, 1914.We understand that, in view of the popular revival of boxing, Dr. Strauss has been commissioned to write a grand opera round the noble art. The above represents the finale.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 22nd, 1914.AT DURAZZO-SUPER-MARE.Mpret. "I DON'T FEEL AT ALL COMFORTABLE HERE. ISN'T IT ABOUT TIME YOU TOOK ME OUT OF THIS?"Europa (sleepily). "MPRAPS."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 22nd, 1914."Look, Ethel, look—there goes Sir Beerbohm Alexander!""So it is; but how unlike!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 22nd, 1914.Yokel. "'Ow fast can she travel, Master?"Owner. "Fifty miles an hour, my man—even sixty if I care to push her."Yokel. "An' 'ow many if ye both shove?"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 22nd, 1914.AN IMPALPABLE FLAME.Claude. "What are you waitin' here for, old thing?"Cuthbert. "To give these flowers and chocolates to that stunning little girl in 'The Death Kiss of Deadman's Gulch.'"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 22nd, 1914.First Caddie. "Does it make yer dizzy lookin' down these 'oles?"Second Caddie. "No."First Caddie. "Then why don't you go to the pin sometimes?"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 22nd, 1914.THE SEX'S PROGRESS.From "Women at Prize-Fights" to "Women in the Ring" should be an easy step in the upward movement.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 22nd, 1914.A RESORT TO THE OBVIOUS.Mr. Punch. "PERMIT ME, GENTLEMEN—I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW ONE ANOTHER: SIR EDWARD CARSON—MR. REDMOND. IT'S MORE THAN TIME YOU MET."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 22nd, 1914.The shade of Masterman recalls happy memories to the inconsolable Worthington Evans.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 22nd, 1914."He did not want these adaptations of a German system which the Chancellor of the Exchequer seemed to have chosen."—Lord Hugh Cecil.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 22nd, 1914.A REVOLTING TASK.The waiter's early-morning job.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 22nd, 1914.THE OLD, OLD PROBLEM.Is the batsman out or not?
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 22nd, 1914.Mr. H. B. Irving (Sir Hubert Lisle). "Pomfret will fall in another two seconds if I don't ride over and raise the siege. Still, my first duty is to Mr. Stephen Phillips, and he wants me for a few dialogues and a brace of soliloquies before I start."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 22nd, 1914.A proposal for the purchase of donkeys for practising ammunition-supply in the field has been approved by the War Office.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 22nd, 1914.Cheerful Householder (to burglar). "By the way, when you go downstairs you might let the cat in; she's been spoiling my sleep."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, July 22nd, 1914.The Optimist (who has just been struck by a passing motor-car). "Glory be! if this isn't a piece o' luck! Sure, 'tis the docthor himself that's in ut."

2023-07-23 19:48:00

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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 4th, 1914."Not big enough! D'yer know 'oo I am? D'yer know foive year ago I was champion light-weight of Wapping?""I've no doubt you're a good man; but, you see, you don't come up to the required measurements, so I'm afraid that's the end of it.""Oh, all right, then. Only, mind yer, if yer go an' lose this 'ere war—well, don't blame me—that's all!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 4th, 1914.FOREWARNED.Zeppelin. (as "The Fat Boy"). "'I WANTS TO MAKE YOUR FLESH CREEP.'"John Bull. "RIGHT-O!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 4th, 1914.Jim (just leaving for Egypt). "Well, good-bye, mother; take care of yourself. I'll bring you a pyramid when I come back home."Mother. "Tha min do nowt o' t' soort, lad. Tha munna get thysen i' any trouble for me."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 4th, 1914.Obvious embarrassment of Little Binks, who has injured his hand in the peaceful occupation of picture-hanging, at being mistaken for a wounded hero.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 4th, 1914.Visitor (leaving inn after sleepless night). "I suppose you don't happen to be a German?"Landlord. "Do I look like it?"Visitor. "No; but I thought I'd just ask because my room last night had a concrete bed in it."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 4th, 1914.First Lady (horrified at bright scarlet muffler for Navy, the creation of second lady.) "My dear—the colour! It'll make a target for the Germans!"Second Lady. "Oh! then it'll have to do for the stoker."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 4th, 1914.FACTS FROM THE FRONT.Tactical use, by the enemy, of the more resilient units of the Landsturm for negotiating Belgian dykes.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 4th, 1914.THE EXCURSIONIST.Scene: Ticket Office at ——— (censored).Tripper Wilhelm. "FIRST CLASS TO PARIS."Clerk. "LINE BLOCKED."Wilhelm. "THEN MAKE IT WARSAW."Clerk. "LINE BLOCKED."Wilhelm. "WELL, WHAT ABOUT CALAIS?"Clerk. "LINE BLOCKED."Wilhelm. "HANG IT! I MUST GO SOMEWHERE! I PROMISED MY PEOPLE I WOULD."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 4th, 1914."'He's as willing as a Christian; strike me blind if he isn't', said Sikes."Oliver Twist, Chap. XVI.(With apologies to the late Fred Barnard.)
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 4th, 1914.Sergeant. "Form Fours!""As you were! Form Fours!!""As you were!! Form Fours!""***!!! *****!!!!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 4th, 1914.T. B. D.Officer's Steward. "Will you take your bath, Sir, before or after haction?"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 4th, 1914.Salesman. "No, Sir, neither of these masks was made in Germany."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 4th, 1914.Huntsman. "Blankety-blank that bloomin' Kaiser! I wish my 'ounds 'ad 'im!"Farmer. "What's 'e bin doin' to you now, Jack?"Huntsman. "Doin'? Just look at the 'osses 'e's left us to ride!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 4th, 1914.LATEST DEVICE OF THE ENEMY.Learning to sing "It's a long, long way to Tipperary" for the purpose of deceiving the Allies.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 4th, 1914.Amateur Constable (Policeman's son). "I arrest yer on suspicion o' stealin' a reservoir. Any 'ollerin' 'll be took dahn agin yer."

2023-07-26 12:32:44

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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 11th, 1914.The Airship Menace.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 11th, 1914.HIS MASTER'S VOICE.The Kaiser (to Turkey, reassuringly). "LEAVE EVERYTHING TO ME. ALL YOU'VE GOT TO DO IS TO EXPLODE."Turkey. "YES, I QUITE SEE THAT. BUT WHERE SHALL I BE WHEN IT'S ALL OVER?"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 11th, 1914.Talkative Passenger. "I see that the young Earl of Harboro' has just done a very plucky act at the front."Rabid Socialist (indignantly). "Well, so he ought."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 11th, 1914.HOW TO BRING UP A HUN.The Teutonic substitute for Milk.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 11th, 1914.WHAT OUR TAILOR HAS TO PUT UP WITH.Scene I. A perfect fit.Scene II. After a week's drill.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 11th, 1914.Cyclist. "Many recruits gone from this village?"Shopkeeper. "No, Sir."Cyclist. "Oh, why's that?"Shopkeeper. "Well, Sir, after going carefully into the matter, we, in this neighbourhood, decided to remain absolutely neutral."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 11th, 1914.Cavalry Instructor (to nervous Recruit). "Now then; none o' them Cossack stunts 'ere."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 11th, 1914."A GLORIOUS EXAMPLE."Able-Bodied Civilian (to Territorial). "THAT OUGHT TO GIVE YOU A GOOD LEAD, MATE."Territorial. "YES—AND I MEAN TO TAKE IT! WHAT ABOUT YOU?"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 11th, 1914.A Prussian Court-painter earning an Iron Cross by painting pictures in praise of the Fatherland for neutral consuption.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 11th, 1914.GERMANISED TURKEY."Dere you are, mein friendt; der same old flag mit a leedle difference."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 11th, 1914."No, Sir, they wouldn't take our Fred, 'cos they said he'd a-got bellicose veins."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 11th, 1914.Colonel of Swashbucklers. "Nah then, Swank! The wimmin can look arter theirselves. You'op it and jine yer regiment."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 11th, 1914.Sentry (on duty for first time). "'Alt! Who goes there? Advance to within five paces, and give the countersign 'Waterloo.'"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 11th, 1914.Hedger. "There's awful accounts in this 'ere paper of they Germans—seems there's some people as don't 'old nothing sacred."Huntsman. "Ah! you may say so! And it ain't only Germans. Only last night I found as fine a dog-fox as ever I see with a bullet-wound through 'is 'eart!"

2023-07-26 22:25:43

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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 18th, 1914."Wot's the use of this 'ere earlier closing?""Wy, in case of a Zeppelin raid. If the 'Un smells beer 'e'll 'ave it!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 18th, 1914.GOOD HUNTING.A CHIP OF THE OLD BLOCK.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 18th, 1914."Mother, look at that poor soldier: wounded in both feet."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 18th, 1914.Patriotic Wife. "Now, Richard, before you go, let me hear you repeat my instructions."Richard. "I must remember I'm the husband of an Englishwoman, and I'm not to come back without the Kaiser!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 18th, 1914.Mr. Thespian Jones, the famous Animal Impersonator, offers his services as "Collecting Dog" under the auspices of a relief committee——but suddenly forgets himself on the arrival of good news from the front.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 18th, 1914.THE HISTORY OF A PAIR OF MITTENS.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 18th, 1914."Waal, it's this way. We Amurricans don't take no sides—we're ab-so-lootly nootral. We don' give a row o' beans which of you knocks the Kaiser out."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 18th, 1914.THE EAGLE COMIQUE.Kaiser (reviving old Music-hall refrain). "HAS ANYBODY HERE SEEN CALAIS?"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 18th, 1914."THE PILOT IS PICKED UP AGAIN."[Lord Fisher comes aboard.]
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 18th, 1914.THE RULING PASSION."'Ten-shun! Form Fours!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 18th, 1914.A PROMISING SLEUTH-PUP.Nurse. "I wonder if that man's a German spy?"Young Briton. "Oh, no, Nurse! He can't be. He hasn't got a gun!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 18th, 1914."Why, Jacob, we thought a sturdy chap like you would have enlisted. There's not a soul gone from the village.""Bain't there, then? They've got vower o' maister's 'orses!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 18th, 1914.Daughter (whose husband is at the front). "Oh, mother, isn't it splendid? Harry's sent me this paper with a marked passage about what he's been doing. It says, 'Captain ——— of the ——— Fusiliers, under heavy ———, rescued ——— from the ———.' Now everybody will know how brave he is!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 18th, 1914.Tommy (reaching flooded trench lately occupied by the enemy). "Well, they say there's no place like 'ome; but it's a bloomin' uncomfortable place to make such a fuss about leavin'!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 18th, 1914.German spies taking lessons from conjurer in the art of concealing pigeons.

2023-07-27 13:55:52

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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 25th, 1914.Customer. "Bring me some soup, please."Waitress (absent-mindedly). "Yes, Sir; purl or plain, Sir?"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 25th, 1914.CARRYING ON.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 25th, 1914.The Worst Character in the village (who has repeatedly been pressed by the inhabitants to enlist). "I dunna believe there ain't no war. I believe it's just a plot to get me out of the village."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 25th, 1914.The King (Mr. Basil Gill) reclaims young Harry (Mr. Owen Nares) from old Harry (the Devil.)
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 25th, 1914.UNRECORDED SCENES FROM THE HISTORY OF THE WAR.Public speakers attend a class for the purpose of learning to pronounce correctly the phrase: "We shall not sheathe the sword until, etc., etc."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 25th, 1914.THE TRUTH ABOUT ———.Facsimile sketches by our Special Correspondent at ———.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 25th, 1914.A PATTERN OF CHIVALRY.THIS WAS THE HAPPY WARRIOR. THIS WAS HETHAT EVERY MAN IN ARMS SHOULD WISH TO BE.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 25th, 1914.Mr. Spenlow Asquith explains to Master Walter Long that "state of things complained of is entirely due to Monsieur Jorkins Poincaré."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 25th, 1914.Wedgwood Benn s'en va-t-en guerre.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 25th, 1914.The Chancellor the Exchequer "in homely character of coalheaver filling bunkers of a battleship."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 25th, 1914.THE AIRCRAFT CRAZE."Ullo, you fellers! Wot yer come down for? More petrol?"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 25th, 1914.Recruiting Officer (to brawny pitman who has just passed his medical examination). "What regiment do you wish to join?"Pitman. "I don't care."Officer. "Sure you have no preference?"Pitman. "Well, put me in one o' them that spikes the beggars."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 25th, 1914.The Sentimentalist (who has received socks from England). "She loves me; she loves me not."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 25th, 1914.She. "This be a terrible war, Doctor."He. "Is it, indeed."She. "It's a pity someone don't catch that there old Kruger."He. "Ah, you mean the Kaiser."She. "Aw—changed his name, has he—deceitful old varmint?"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, November 25th, 1914.Old Lady (to wounded Officer). "Oh, Sir, do you 'appen to ave 'eard if any of your men at the front 'as found a pair of spectacles wot I left in a 16 'bus in the Edgware Road?"

2023-07-27 22:39:30

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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 2nd, 1914.Recruiting Sergeant. "Want to join the Cavalry, do you? Know anything about horses?"Applicant. "Wot—me? Three winners and a second yesterday! Lumme, Guv'nor! Wot do you think?"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 2nd, 1914.MEN OF FEW WORDS.Grand Duke Nicholas. "ÇA MARCHE?"General Joffre. "ASSEZ BIEN. ET CHEZ VOUS?"Grand Duke. "PAS MAL."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 2nd, 1914.Small Visitor. "And how is your mother, Penelope?"Penelope. "Thank you, poor mummie's a bit below herself this morning—what with the cook and the Kaiser."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 2nd, 1914.The Victor (after being admonished for un-scoutlike behaviour). "Well, you may say what you like, Sir, but I consider it distinctly subversive of discipline for an ordinary private to call his patrol-leader 'Toffee-nose.'"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 2nd, 1914.Officer (commanding skirmishing party). "Very sorry to put you off your game, Sir; but we had to come across here."Golfer. "Don't mention it, Sir. It makes me feel I've done my bit."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 2nd, 1914.HERO-WORSHIP.Slightly soiled Urchin. "Please, Mr. General, if yer wouldn't mind bendin' dahn a bit, me an' Emma 'd like to give yer a kiss."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 2nd, 1914.Vicar (his mind full of the recruiting posters). "Wilt thou take this woman to thy wedded wife—for three years or the duration of the war?"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 2nd, 1914.A CHRONIC COMPLAINT.Aide-de-Camp. "'THE ENGLISH FORCE, SO PLEASE YOU.'"Kaiser. "'TAKE THY FACE HENCE... I AM SICK AT HEART.'"(Macbeth, Act V., Sc. 3.)
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 2nd, 1914.Mr. Tennant. "Our duty is to drive the invader into the sea."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 2nd, 1914.The Solicitor-General knows nothing of seditious Irish newspapers.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 2nd, 1914.Shopkeeper. "Candles are up in prince to-day, y' know, Mrs. O'Flynn—on account of the war."Mrs. O'Flynn. "Och! Bad cess to them Germans! Why can't they be fighting by daylight?"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 2nd, 1914.Cavalry Instructor. "From where did you receive instructions to dismount, Sir?"Raw Recruit. "From hindquarters, Sir."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 2nd, 1914.Inspector. "Well, what's your little grumble?"Constable. "Beg parson, Sir, but just because I look a bit like a German me life 'as become a burden. People say, 'I shouldn't wonder if 'e wasn't a sheep in lion's clothes.'"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 2nd, 1914.Officer (on rounds near revolving light). "Anything to report?"Sentry. "No, Sir; there's no muckle ta riporet; but yon folks hae been havin' a heap o' trouble wi' their licht; it's gone oot twenty times in the last oor."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 2nd, 1914.Sergeant Instructor. "What's yer name?"Sir Angelo Frampington, R.A. "Frampington."Sergeant. "Well, 'old yer 'ead up, Frampington."

2023-07-28 10:49:42

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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 9th, 1914.THE MASTER WORD.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 9th, 1914.THE ZEPPELIN MENACE.A smart London cellar in war-time. Pictured by a Berlin artist.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 9th, 1914.THE KING AT THE FRONT."Tommy" (having learned the language). "VIVE LE ROI!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 9th, 1914.Michael (gloomily). "Mummy, I do hope I shan't die soon."Mummy. "Darling! So do I—but why?"Michael. "It would be too awful to die a civilian."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 9th, 1914.FAITH.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 9th, 1914."Run avay, you leedle poys; dont' gome here shpying about!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 9th, 1914.CARRYING ON.Old Sportsman. "Well, Tom, back into harness again?"Tom (retired Huntsman). "Yes, Sir; only second whip now. Didn't think to see you huntin' again, Sir."Old Sportsman. "Just trying to keep things going till the lads come back again."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 9th, 1914."See 'im? Well, when 'e sez 'Oo goes there?' if you're a Englishman you 'as to say 'Friend!' and if you're a German you 'as to say 'Foe!'"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 9th, 1914.He. "I'm just about fed-up with all this talk about recruitin'. Who's goin' to carry on the work of the country if all the people of brains go to the front?"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 9th, 1914.Owing to the outcry against high-placed aliens a wealthy German tries to look as little high-placed as possible.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 9th, 1914.Owing to the outcry against high-placed aliens a wealthy German tries to look as little high-placed as possible.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 9th, 1914."——— and please God make me a good girl Amen. How would it be, Mother, to give the Germans cirgaretts filled with gunpowder?"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 9th, 1914.Flag-bearer. "Feel cold, an' want yer shirt, do yer? Garn! where's yet patriotism?"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 9th, 1914.Village Worthy (discussing possibilities of invasion). "Wull, there can't be no battle in these parts, Jarge, for there bain't no field suitable, as you may say; an' Squire 'e won't lend 'em the use of 'is park."

2023-07-28 13:49:27

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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 16th, 1914."I'm afraid it'll have to go to the same place as my German pipe went-the dustbin. It suited me, too."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 16th, 1914.THE SINEWS OF WAR.Private Atkins. "FOR WHAT WE HAVE RECEIVED-AND ARE GOING TO RECEIVE-HERE'S TO THE A.S.C."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 16th, 1914.Child (much impressed by martial emblems opposite). "Mother, is that a soldier?" Mother. "No, darling."Child. "Why not?"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 16th, 1914.Genial Pedestrian. "A bright moon to-night, constable."Morbid P.C. "Yes, Sir. Let's 'ope it don't draw the fire of 'ostile air-craft!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 16th, 1914.AT A MILTARY WEDDING.Usher (to Uninvited Guest). "Bride's friends to the right; Bridegroom's to the left."Uninvited Guest. "I'm afraid I'm a neutral."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 16th, 1914.Fig. I.-To illustrate the Professor's delightful story of the booking-clerk's answer.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 16th, 1914.Fig. 2.-To illustrate the Curate's ingenious problem of the Fishmonger.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 16th, 1914.Fig. 3.-To illustrate the Captain's thrilling story of the Boer War.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 16th, 1914.Fig. 4.-To illustrate the journey of the sagacious hound.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 16th, 1914.Little Tomkins (to Herculean Coalheaver). "Why don't you come up the green a couple o' nights a week an' do a bit o' shootin' an' drillin'? You'd get as fit as a fiddle."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 16th, 1914.UNRECORDED EVENTS IN THE HISTORY OF THE WAR.German soldiers being roused to enthusiasm by the "Hymn of Hate."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 16th, 1914. KILLED![With Mr. Punch's compliments to General Botha.]
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 16th, 1914.Old Lady (to District Visitor). "Did you hear a strange noise this morning, Miss, at about four o'clock? I thought it was one of them aireoplanes; and my neighbour was so sure it was one he went down and let his dog loose."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 16th, 1914.Weary Variety Agent. "And what's your particular claim to originality?"Artiste. "I'm the only Comedian who has so far refrained from addressing the orchestra as 'you in the trench.'"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 16th, 1914.THE RULING PASSION.Voice from below. "For 'eaven's sake, mum, get back. The fire-escape will be 'ere in five minutes."Endangered Female. "Five minutes? Then throw me back my knitting."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 16th, 1914.Pompous Lady. "I shall descent at Knightsbridge."Tommy (aside). "Takes 'erself for a bloomin' Zeppelin!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 16th, 1914."Hands up!""Hands up yourself!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 16th, 1914.LANGUAGE-KULTUR.Voice from the darkness. "Doand shood! Doand shood! Ve vos de Viltshires."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 16th, 1914.THE COMPLETE SALESMAN.Lady (rather difficult to please). "I like this one, but-I see it's printed in Germany."Salesman. "Well, if you like it, Madam, I wouldn't take too much notice of that statement. It's probably only another German lie!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 23rd, 1914.Orderly. "Your Majesty, I have been sent to ask for detailed instructions about the Christmas dinner to be held at Buckingham Pal-"Wilhelm. -! -!
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 23rd, 1914.FULFILMENT.Austria. "I SAID ALL ALONG THIS WAS GOING TO BE A PUNITIVE EXPEDITION."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 23rd, 1914.The steam-roller (English) at work."Nothing, madam, I assure you-didn't feel it."The patriotic mind at work."But, young man, if you can stand hardships like that, how is it you are not at the front?"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 23rd, 1914.The Jester. "Hallo, Soony! Choosin' yer turkey?"Diminutive Patiot. "Garn! Yes don't catch me 'avin turkey these days. Wy, I'd as soon eat a German sausage!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 23rd, 1914.THE SUPREME TEST.The Civilian. "I don't know how you do it. Fancy marchin' thirty miles with the rigle, and that pack on yer back!"The Tommy. "Yes, and mind you-it's Tipperary all the way!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 23rd, 1914.FOR ALL PERSONS.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 23rd, 1914.AN ECHO FROM EAST AFRICA.Sentry (until lately behind the counter in Nairobi, to person approaching post). "Halt! Advance one, and sign the counterfoil!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 23rd, 1914.THE CHILDREN'S TRUCE.Peace. "I'M GLAD THAT THEY, AT LEAST, HAVE THEIR CHRISTMAS UNSPOILED."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 23rd, 1914.At the "Spotted Dog." "I 'ear there be two hundred soldiers-Borderers, they calls 'em-'ave come 'ere. Do yer reckon they'll be for us or agin' us, Jarge?"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 23rd, 1914.THE CHRISTMAS GHOAST, 1914.The Specral Duke (to guest in haunted room). "Ha, ah! Behold, I am here!"Guest. "Yes, yes-so I see. But I'm awfully bust just now. Give us a look up next year."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 23rd, 1914."And what can I get for you, Sir?""I'm looking for my father. Has he been in here? He's an old man 'bout thirty-seven."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 23rd, 1914.THE JOY OF BILLETING IN A FRENCH CHATEAU.Time, 6 a.m.Brigate Major. "I say, Sir, may I finish dressing in here? They're shellin' the north bedrooms!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 23rd, 1914.THE IRON CROSS EPIDEMIC.Captain of a German cruiser, hurrying home after shelling health-resort, gives orders to lighten the ship for the sake of speed.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 23rd, 1914.General. "Glad to see you walking, my lad. I always like to see a man who considers his horse."Recruit. "Thank you, SIr. But my near side stirrup's broke, and I can't get on."General. "Then why the deuce don't you get on with the off-side one?"Recruit (after some consideration). "But I'd be sittin' wrong way round."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 23rd, 1914.THE WILHELM MISTLETOE.A card of Teutonic origin not likely to have a big sale over here this season.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 30th, 1914."But you aren't tall enough.""Well, can I go as a drummer-boy?""I'm afraid you're too old for that.""Well, then-dash it all! I'll go as a mascot."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 30th, 1914.DISHONOURED.Captain of the Emden. "DIRTY WORK!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 30th, 1914.THE TEMPTATIONS OF A SOLDIER.Fond Mother (who has just seen her son, a very youthful subaltern, off to the front). "I got him away from his father for a moment and said to him, 'Darling, don't go too near the firing-line, will you?'"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 30th, 1914.Visitor. "Could you tell me what time the tide is up?"Odd job man. "Well, Sir, they do expeck 'igh water at six; but then you know wot these 'ere rumours are nowadays."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 30th, 1914.Lady in black. "Our Jim's killed seven Germans-and he'd never killed anyone before he went to France!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 30th, 1914.Officer (instructing recruits in signalling). "Didn't you get that message?"Recruit. "Yes, Sir: 'Three Taubs and a Zeplin comin' over the 'ill.'"Officer. "Then why the deuce didn't you send it on?" Recruit. "Well, Sir, I couldn't 'ardly believe it."
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 30th, 1914.GREAT EXPECTATIONS.How Mabel pictured her big brother's arrival for week-end leave from the Front.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 30th, 1914.THE NEW ARMY TO THE FRONT.
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 30th, 1914.First Urchin (to Captain who has just bought a new motor-horn. "Carry yer parcel, Colonel?"Second ditto (in a hoarse whisper). "Garn! Can't yer see 'e's a bugler?"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 30th, 1914.First Old Dame. "Well, my dar, and what are you doing for the country?"Second ditto. "I am knitting socks for the troops."First Old Dame (robustly). "Knitting! I am learning to shoot!"
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 30th, 1914."KAISER BACK TO THE FRONT."(Attempted illustration to a recent poster of the evening press.)
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  Illustration from "Punch" Magazine, December 30th, 1914.One Hundred and Forty-Seventy Volume.

2023-08-15 10:40:58

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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to September 16th 1914: "The New Rake's Progress."German Kaiser. "Let us prey."⁠Sept. 9. 1914
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to September 16th 1914: "The New Rake's Progress."A WISE WARNING.Dædalus Bismarck (Political Parent of Wilhelm Icarus)."My son; observe the middle path to fly,And fear to sink too low, or rise too high.Here the sun melts, there vapours damp your force,Between the two extremes direct your course."Nor on the bear, nor on boötes gaze,Nor on sword-arm'd orion's dangerous rays;But follow me, thy guide, with watchful sight,And, as I steer, direct thy cautious Flight."Ovid, "Metamorphoses," Book VIII., Fable III.October 6, 1888.⁂ The Kaiser is warned by the Great Chancellor.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to September 16th 1914: "The New Rake's Progress."L'ENFANT TERRIBLE.Chorus in the Stern. "Don't go on like that—or you'll upset us all!!"May 10, 1890.⁂ The Kaiser begins to alarm his fellow Rulers.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to September 16th 1914: "The New Rake's Progress."THE IMPERIAL JACK-IN-THE-BOX.Chorus (Everybody) "Everything in Order Everywhere! O! What a Surprise! Sold Again!"January 30, 1892.⁂ The Kaiser has a finger in every German Pie.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to September 16th 1914: "The New Rake's Progress."THE MODERN ALEXANDER'S FEAST; OR, THE POWER OF SOUND.*⁠*⁠*⁠*"With ravished ears,The Monarch hears,Assumes the God,Affects to nod,and seems to shake the spheres!"March 5, 1892.⁂ The Kaiser feels his feet. This cartoon caused Punch to be excluded for a while from the Imperial Palace.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to September 16th 1914: "The New Rake's Progress."THE STORY OF FIDGETY WILHELM.(Up-to-date Version of "Struwwelpeter.")"Let me see if Welhelm canBe a little gentle man;Let me see if he is ableTo sit still for once at table!"*⁠*⁠*⁠*"But figety WillHe won't sit still."*⁠*⁠*⁠*Just like any bucking horse."Wilhelm! We are getting cross!"February 1, 1896.⁂ The Kaiser worries his friends of the Triple Alliance.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to September 16th 1914: "The New Rake's Progress."A NEW RÔLE.Imperial "Manager-Actor" (who has cast himself for a leading part in "Un Voyage en Chine," sotto voce). "Um—Ha! With just a few additional touches here and there, I shall make a first-rate Emperor of China!"January 15, 1898.⁂ The Kaiser prepares for China.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to September 16th 1914: "The New Rake's Progress."COOK'S CRUSADER.Imperial Knight Templar (the German Emperor—to Saladin). "What!! The Christian Powers putting pressure upon You, my dear Friend!! Horrible! I can't think how People can do such things!"October 15, 1898.⁂ The Kaiser sympathises with the Turk.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to September 16th 1914: "The New Rake's Progress."ON TOUR.(Tangier, March 31.)Kaiser Wilhelm (as the Moor of Potsdam) sings:—"'Unter den Linden'—always at Home,'Under the Lime-light' wherever I roam!"April 5, 1905.⁂ The Kaiser woos Morocco.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to September 16th 1914: "The New Rake's Progress."NOT IN THE PICTURE.Scene.—On shore, during the vicit of the British Fleet to Brest.Mr. Punch (Photographer, suavely, to the Kaiser). "Just a little further back, please, Sir. your shadow still rather interferes with the group."July 12, 1908.⁂ The Kaiser (not for the first time) is out of it with England and France.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to September 16th 1914: "The New Rake's Progress."THE SOWER OF TARES.(After Millais.)August 23, 1908.⁂ The Kaiser as enemy of Europe.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to September 16th 1914: "The New Rake's Progress.""ISOLATION."Peace (attending the Inter-Parliamentary Congress at Berlin.) "Everybody else seems to be my friend; why do you stand aloof?"German Kaiser. "But haven't I always sais that I was your friend?"Peace. "Yes; but can't you do something to prove it?"September 23, 1908.⁂ The Kaiser as the platonic friend of Peace.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to September 16th 1914: "The New Rake's Progress."THE TEUTONISING OF TURKEY.German Kaiser. "Good Bird!"October 5, 1910.⁂ The Kaiser takes Turkey in hand.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to September 16th 1914: "The New Rake's Progress."HARMONY.[The German Emperor has been patronising the Centenary of Krupp's Gun Factory.]August 14, 1912.⁂ The Kaiser prepares for the Millennium (Prussian Version).
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to September 16th 1914: "The New Rake's Progress."THE COMING OF THE COSSACKS.Wilhelm II. "What is this Distant Rumbling that I hear? Doubtless the Plaudits of my People!"August 26, 1914.⁂ The Kaiser deludes himself.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to September 16th 1914: "The New Rake's Progress."THE WORLD'S ENEMY.The Kaiser. "Who goes there?"Spirit of Carnage. "A friend—your only one."August 19, 1914.⁂ The Kaiser as the foe of humanity.

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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to October 7th 1914, '"Punch" and the Prussian Bully.'January 10, 1857.⁂ The Prussian Bully disturbs the Peace of Europe.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to October 7th 1914, '"Punch" and the Prussian Bully.'THE REWARD OF (DE)MERIT.King Punch presenteth Prussia with the Order of "St. Gibbet."May 7, 1864.⁂ The Prussian Bully tears up a "scrap of paper" pledging him to respect the integrity of Denmark.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to October 7th 1914, '"Punch" and the Prussian Bully.'JACK ON THE CRISIS."Blow it, Bill! We can't be expected to fight a lot o' lubberly swabs like him. We'll kick 'em, if that'll do."July 2, 1864.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to October 7th 1914, '"Punch" and the Prussian Bully.'BRIGANDS DIVIDING THE SPOILS.August 13, 1864.⁂ The Prussian Bully takes his share of the plunder.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to October 7th 1914, '"Punch" and the Prussian Bully.'CHECK TO THE KING.Bismarck (reads from 3000 Citizens of Cologne). "In view of the miserable condition of the country in view of a civil war, with its attendant sufferings and fearful calamities... we couch a solemn protest against engaging in such a war."...King of Prussia. "What is that? Dare my subjects object to be slaughtered! What next, I wonder?"June 2, 1866.⁂ The Prussian Bully declares his intention of making war on Austria.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to October 7th 1914, '"Punch" and the Prussian Bully.'PEACE—AND NO PIECES!.Bismarck. "Pardon, mon ami; but we really can't allow you to pick up anything here."Nap (the Chiffonnier). "Pray don't mention it, M'sieu! It's not of the slightest consequence."August 25, 1866.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to October 7th 1914, '"Punch" and the Prussian Bully.'"TO BE SOLD."Emperor Napoleon: "I-a-have made an offer to my friend here, and..."The Man in Possession: "No, have you, though? I rather think I was the party to apply to."Emperor Napoleon: "Uh, indeed! Ah! Then in that case I'll—but it's of no consequence."May 4, 1867.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to October 7th 1914, '"Punch" and the Prussian Bully.'GAUL TO THE NEW CÆSAR."Defiance, Emperor, while I have strength to hurl it!"December 17, 1870.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to October 7th 1914, '"Punch" and the Prussian Bully.'EXCESSIVE BAIL.Justice (to Bismarck). "Your Client was assaulted, and you ask that the defendant 'shall be bound over to keep the peace for many years.' But I cannot sanction a demand for exorbitant securities."February 18, 1871.⁂ The Prussian Bully demands from France the cession of Alsace and Lorraine and an Indemnity of £200,000,000.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to October 7th 1914, '"Punch" and the Prussian Bully.'ENTER BISMARCK."I speak of peace, while covert enmity,Under the smile of safety, wounds the world;And who but 'Bismarck,' who but only I,Make fearful musters and prepared defence."Henry the Fourth, Part II. (Induction.)February 18, 1888.⁂ The Prussian Bully speaks of Peace and prepares for War.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to October 7th 1914, '"Punch" and the Prussian Bully.'DROPPING THE PILOT.March 29, 1890.⁂ The Prussian Bully has no further use for Prince Bismarck.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to October 7th 1914, '"Punch" and the Prussian Bully.'"NANA WOULD NOT GIVE ME A BOW-WOW!"[The German Emperor is reported to have said, "It was impossible for me to anticipate the rejection of the Army Bills, so fully did I rely upon the patriotism of the Imperial Diet to accept them unreservedly. A patriotic minority has been unable to prevail against the majority... I was compelled to resort to a dissolution, and I look forward to the acceptance of the Bills by the new Reichstag. Should this expectation be again disappointed, I am determined to use every means in my power to achieve my purpose."—The Times.]May 20, 1893.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to October 7th 1914, '"Punch" and the Prussian Bully.'HIS FAVOURITE SUBJECT.Imperial Artist. "Wish I could have got it done in time for the Royal Academy. Sure to have been accepted."May 4, 1895.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to October 7th 1914, '"Punch" and the Prussian Bully.'GERMANIA ARMING KRUGER."The Vossische Zeitung chronicles with satisfaction the recent arrival at Lorenzo Marquez, on board the German East African liner Kaiser, of 1,650 cases of war material for the Transvaal, including a whole battery of heavy guns, and states its conviction that the Transvaal and the Orange Free State are 'determined to maintain their independence.'"—Globe, April 13.April 24, 1897.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to October 7th 1914, '"Punch" and the Prussian Bully.'A TALL ORDER.German Eagle (to Dove of Peace). "Teach me how to coo!"December 7, 1904.⁂ The Prussian Bully maintains, in the cause of peace, a strong and efficient army, ready for instant action.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to October 7th 1914, '"Punch" and the Prussian Bully.'THE BLIND SIDE.German Officer: "Glad to hear you're going to fortify your sea front. Very dangerous people, these English."Dutchman: "But it will cost much."German Officer: "Ah, but see what you save on the Eastern Frontier, where there's nobody but us."January 11, 1911.⁂ The Prussian Bully tries to get on the "blind side" of Holland.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to October 7th 1914, '"Punch" and the Prussian Bully.'SOLID.Germany. "Donnerwetter! it's rock. I thought it was going to be paper."August 2, 1911.⁂ The Prussian Bully finds that the Triple Entente really exists.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to October 7th 1914, '"Punch" and the Prussian Bully.'BRAVO, BELGIUM!August 12, 1914.⁂ The Prussian Bully invades an inoffensive Neutral Country.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to October 7th 1914, '"Punch" and the Prussian Bully.'THE TRIUMPH OF "CULTURE."August 26, 1914.⁂ The Prussian Bully declares himself to be the Apostle of Culture.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to October 7th 1914, '"Punch" and the Prussian Bully.'THE GREAT GOTH.Design for a stained-glass window in a Nei-Gothic Cathedral at Potsdam.September 30, 1914.⁂ The Apotheosis of the Prussian Bully.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to October 7th 1914, '"Punch" and the Prussian Bully.'

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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to October 7th 1914, '"Punch" and the Prussian Bully.'OUT OF THE SHADOW.The Kaiser. "What business have you here?"German Socialist Party. "I too want 'a place in the sun.'"January 31, 1912.⁂ The Prussian Bully becomes aware of a growing menace.

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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'THE STATUS QUO.Turkey. "Will you not still befriend me?"Britannia. "Befriend you?—Not with your hands of that colour!"September 9, 1876.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'ONE BUBBLE MORE!!January 6, 1877.The Turk, once again, makes illusory promises of Reform.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'EVERYBODY'S FRIEND!March 2, 1878.During the Russo-Turkish War a strict neutrality is preserved by Germany. She is now the "friend" of the Turk.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'THE SUBLIME—"SUPER"!"Stage Manager. "What are you to do, Sir? Why, get well to the back, and—wave your banner!!!"September 16, 1882.The Turk makes a great show of denouncing the revold of Arabi in Egypt. He is not taken very seriously.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'COOPED UP!October 26, 1889.The Powers, despite the protests of Greece, leave it to the Turk to restore order in the Island of Crete.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'"DEEDS—NOT WORDS!"John Bull. "Look here,—we've had enough of your palaver! are you going to let the girl go, or have we got to make you?"June 13, 1895.The barbarous treatment of Armenia by the Turk compels the intervention of England, France and Russia.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'A FREE HAND.The Unspeakable Turk. "Ha, ha. There's no one about! I can get to Business Again."January 18, 1896.While England is absorbed elsewhere the Turk takes the opportunity to commit further outrages in Armenia.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'A TURKISH BATH.Sultan. "They gave it me pretty hot in that Armenian room! but—Bismillah! this is—phew!!"August 22, 1896.A very "sick man" is the Turk. He goes from bad to worse.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'"TURKEY LIMITED."Sultan. Make me into a Limited Company? H'm—ah—S'pose they'll allow me to join the Board after Allotment!"November 28, 1896.The Powers consider the advisability of placing the Turk "under control."
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'TENDER MERCIES!Dame Europa (to Little Crete). "Don't cry, my little man. I've asked this nice, kind Turkish policeman to stay and take care of you!"March 13, 1897.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'THE SLAVE OF DUTY!Admiral John Bull. "Now then, out you'll have to go!"The Unspeakable. "What! leave my beautiful Crete in a state of disorder? Never!"September 24, 1898.The incorrigible Turk is deprived of his power to misrule in Crete. He is consoled by Germany.The Turk is given another chance to mend his ways.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'THE MITYLENE MARCH.(Solo for the French Horn.)The Sultan. "I don't like Solos! Give me the good old-fashioned European Concerto!"November 13, 1901.France sends a fleet to Mitylene and compels the Turk to respect the rights of certain French subjects.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'BETWEEN RUSSIA AND THE DEEP SEA.September 9, 1903.Trouble again confronts the Turk. Macedonia, weary of his oppression, rises in revolt. Russia keeps an eye upon him.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'THE OPTIMIST.Abdul Hamid. "What, all the Fleets coming here? That will be fun! I do hope they'll have Fireworks!"November 22, 1905.The Powers decide on a Naval Demonstration to compel the Turk to settle the Macedonian difficulty.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'OUT OF BOUNDS.John Bull. "Shoo! Shoo!"May 9, 1906.The Turk tries to grab a bit of Egypt, but his bluster is unsuccessful. Under pressure he retires, as usual.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'THE THRONE PERILOUS.July 29, 1908.The condition of the Turk is very critical. Internal disorders indicate a serious danger of collapse.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'THE SALT-WATER CURE.Shah of Persia. "Go on in, Abdul—just for the look of the thing. You can always come out if you don't like it."Sick Man of Europe. "Yes, I know. But one gets so wet!"August 12, 1908.The Turk makes another specious effort to amend his constitution.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'AT LAST!November 27, 1912.The liberation of Macedonia from the tyranny of the Turk is, at last, accomplished.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'ARMAGEDDON: A DIVERSION.Turkey. "Good! if only all those other christian nations get at one another's throats, I may have a dog's chance yet."December 4, 1912.The Turk still has a gleam of hope.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'NO EFFECTS.Balkan Leaguer. "It's your money we want."Turkey. "Money, dear boy? Search me!"March 26, 1913.The ever impecunious Turk.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'SETTLED.Dame Europa. "You've always been the most troublesome boy in the school. How go and consolidate yourself."Turkey. "Please, ma'am, what does that mean?"Dame Europa. "It means going into that corner—and stopping there!"April 2, 1913.The Turk is driven to confine his energies to Asia Minor.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'"DEUTSCHLAND UEBER ALLES."King of the Hellenes. "Our success was, as you know, entirely due to you."German Emperor. "Thanks, thanks." (Aside) "I suppose he can't be referring to our organisation of the Turkish army."September 17, 1913.The decisive defeat of the Turk by the Greeks and their Allies is a bitter blow to Germany.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'ANOTHER PEACE CONFERENCE.Turkey (to Greece) "Aha! my young friend, alone at last! Now we can arrange a really nice treaty."October 8, 1913.The Turk makes a desperate effort to get Greece into a quiet corner.
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  Illustration from Punch Magazine. Supplement to December 16th 1914, 'The Unspeakable Turk.'HIS MASTER'S VOICE.The Kaiser (to Turkey, reassuringly). "Leave everything to me. All you've got to do is to explode."Turkey. "Yes, I quite see that. But where shall I be when it's all over?"November 11, 1914.There is, indeed, no health in the Turk.