English subtitles for clip: File:Something for nothing (1940).ogv

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Well, folks, there she is.

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The Rube Goldberg door opener upper.

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Sure, sure.

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I know they have a gadget called an electric guy that

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does practically the same thing.

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But that's no good for a waiter.

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You see, the electricity might give the waiter a shock.

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Then he'd forget to come back to pick up his tip,

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and he loses professional standing.

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How does this door opener upper really work?

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It's very simple.

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But watch close.

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Now here is what happens.

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You see, waiter places cat B on pile of dirty dishes A.

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Now cat B sees mouse C. Of course, this is a stuffed mouse

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because he must be used for the next waiter.

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Now cat jumps on mouse C, causing lever D to lift lighted

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candle E, which ignites fuse F and sets off bomb G,

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opening door H very gently.

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Well, folks, I suppose there are one or two among you

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who think that my inventions are a bit ahead of their time.

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A shade fantastic, perhaps.

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All right, go on and say it.

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Downright screwy!

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But let me tell you something.

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I've got lots of company, genuine inventors, guys who've

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got their stuff protected by the United States Patent Office.

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And believe me, some of it needs protection,

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if you know what I mean.

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For instance.

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Now here's an invention that was granted patent number 556-248

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back in the year 1896.

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But don't ask me why.

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This little nifty is a labor saving device if there ever

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was one.

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It's an automatic hat tipper for the lazy Lothario.

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Fitted snuggly inside of this deluxe derby,

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that is, in addition to the wearer's slightly addled head,

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is a conglomeration of wheels, cogs, gears, ratchets,

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counterweights, strings, and pulleys,

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which gallantly doffs the chapeau whenever a young heiress

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passes by.

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Well, anyway, this is just one example

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of the many queer devices that have actually been patented.

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And here's a copy of the patent to prove it.

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Oh.

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There are literally hundreds of such patents

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on file in the United States Patent Office.

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The inventors were all perfectly serious.

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They really believed that their inventions would make things

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easier for us in our lives, pleasanter, and safer.

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But by far, the most persistent dream of inventors

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has been to get something for nothing.

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That is, to create a machine that

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will start itself, overcome all friction,

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and still have enough power left to do useful work.

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In short, perpetual motion machines.

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Now, here's a typical example of what I mean,

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a famous old standby.

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Of course, you all know that when something is dipped underwater,

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it seems to lose weight.

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So this particular perpetual motion machine

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is designed to have some of the weights in water

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and some of them out of water at all times.

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It's all very simple.

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And so are you if you think it'll work.

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But confidentially, I've got one that will work.

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And if you'll excuse me for a few minutes, I'll show you.

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No, Mr. Goldberg, not even your genius, is equal to that task.

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In fact, the United States Patent Office

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will no longer grant a patent for the design

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of a perpetual motion machine, because the experts in that office

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know that you can't get something for nothing,

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that you can't get power out of an engine without paying

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for it in fuel.

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Fortunately for us, however, man has

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discovered a virtually unlimited source of power.

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He has paid for that power by years of painstaking research

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and experimentation.

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That source of power is gasoline, the chief product

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of the petroleum industry.

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Gasoline, in fact, is the greatest single source of power

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in the world today.

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And the automobile engine is by far the greatest user

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of gasoline's power.

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Here's a device that looks like a cross between a trench mortar

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and an automobile engine.

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It's just the thing to illustrate the principles

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of getting power from gasoline.

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Liquid gasoline contains the power, all right,

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but unaided it can't release the force it holds.

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When a light is applied to it, liquid gasoline

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burns as innocently as a wax candle.

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This proves what we all know.

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Gasoline has to be mixed with plenty of air

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to release its power.

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Then gasoline has more force than an equal amount of gunpowder.

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Into the first cylinder goes a mixture of air and gasoline.

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Into the fourth cylinder an equal weight of gunpowder.

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When the cylinders are touched off with an electric sparker,

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the swoosh shows lots of power.

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When a piston is put into these cylinders

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fueled again with gunpowder and a mixture of gasoline and air,

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a better test of power will show up.

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The gunpowder has the better of it here,

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but the gasoline hasn't taken off its wraps.

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Gasoline does its best work when it's under pressure.

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In the cylinder, fueled with the mixture of air and gasoline,

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the piston is pressed down until the mixture is under high pressure.

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It is clear that the highest pressure kicks the piston farthest,

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develops more power.

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One method of obtaining this added pressure in the automobile engine

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was to increase the piston stroke.

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But when carried beyond a certain point, the engine starts to knock.

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So several other changes were made to increase power without causing a knock.

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First, the piston top was redesigned

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so that it will mix the air and the gasoline together more completely.

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In the latest engines, the roof of the combustion chamber

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around the intake valve has been lowered just a fraction of an inch.

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But that was enough so that now the gasoline is mixed with free air

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and compressed more for more power.

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Today, the driver of the motor car doesn't get something for nothing,

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but he does get more power than ever before from the gasoline he buys.

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Our available suppliers of fuel now do more work

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with increasing efficiency and economy.

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[LAUGHTER]

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Folks, I've done it!

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I've discovered the secret of perpetual motion.

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Yes, sir, long, long after you and I have departed from this earthly scene,

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this machine of mine will be working on and on and on and on.

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Never stopping for Sunday, holidays or bank nights.

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On and on and on and on.

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[MUSIC PLAYING]

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Oh, I skipped it.

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[MUSIC PLAYING]

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See you next time.