English subtitles for clip: File:President Obama with Stephen Colbert.webm

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(cross-talk)

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The President:
Hey guys.

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How are you?

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Sorry we're running
a little late --

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Mr. Colbert:
Mr. President, Stephen Colbert.

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The President:
Good to see you,
Stephen, how are you?

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Nice to see you again.

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Mr. Colbert:
Thanks so much for
doing this with us.

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The President:
Now, the only thing I regret is, I'm not going to get to see

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you bald, man.

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(laughter)

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Mr. Colbert:
You'll see it Monday night.

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The minute you go off the air,
Odierno's gonna shear my head.

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It's the last thing in the show.

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So we're gonna take it from
right before you come in.

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>> Stephen, cut your hair off.

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Mr. Colbert:
With all due respect,
sir, you're not the best

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advertisement for haircuts.

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And frankly, it's going to take
more than a four-star General to

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get me to shave my head.

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The President:
Excuse me, General?

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>> Mr. President, welcome, sir.

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The President:
Thank you, General.

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First, I want to send my
greetings to the men and women

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of our Armed Forces in Iraq and
I and all Americans thank you

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for your service.

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>> (whispering)
Wow, this is amazing!

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Mr. Colbert:
You're welcome, Mr. President!

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The President:
I wasn't talking to you.

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Now second, General, I overheard
your conversation about

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Stephen's hair --

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Mr. Colbert:
Wait, you overheard?

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Are your satellites
really that good?

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The President:
No, but my ears are
really that big.

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Now, as a man who understands
the appeal of a close crop,

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I say if Stephen Colbert
wants to play soldier,

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it's time to cut
that man's hair.

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Mr. Colbert:
Wait a second --

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>> Sir, I'd like to
request a confirmation.

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The President:
General, as Commander-in-Chief, I hereby order you to shave

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that man's head.

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>> Yes, sir.

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Mr. Colbert:
Hey!

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The President:
Thank you, General.

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And once again, my thanks
to everybody there.

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Mr. Colbert:
That's it.

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The President:
All right.

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Mr. Colbert:
Thank you, sir.

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(appalause)

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The President:
Thank you, thank you.

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I would like to
thank my family --

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(laughter)

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Mr. Colbert:
Look for this come Emmy time.

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(laughter)

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You're a contender
at this point.

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The President:
It's big, it's big.

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(cross-talk)