File:TWITTER EPIC RAP by Dan Bull.webm

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LYRICS:

I check out my Twitter feed occasionally and the shit I see's basically make believe Peeps claim it's the place to be but that amazes me because it tastes of wee All the food for thought here's the sort to damage you If it was a restaurant I'd talk to the manager Quick, Twitpic, you should have brought your camera now breaking a story's a sport for amateurs And if it's a case of the more the merrier how witty can you be in 140 characters? In the days of broadband I really would have thought that you could have more than that "Dan, give up the ridiculous voice because you're missing the point and you're a twat" Fair enough, that's freedom of speech but I wouldn't have thought that from reading your tweets Cos each of them seems to be equally meaningless sequences of ceaseless frequency So could you please have the decency to give your private life a tiny bit of secrecy?

600 million people like me like this Are you taking the piss or is there something I've missed?

Once upon a time I was fond of Dom Joly before I saw him come across as a dumb wally He can't cope with the folks that provoke him and so now Dom's gone off his damn trolley And that's the folly of the modern celebrity: Act like a twat and everybody sees I try to be nice but my mind's in a cycle of retweets, e-heaps of shite to recycle but aside from the gripes it's a quite good site though a far flight from the times of the typewriter Typing "lol looks like a TIE fighter" can acquire more followers than the Pied Piper My favourite pastime is pasting the @ sign before peoples' names and then making up crap rhymes Aw, that's nice, nah I'm just another gasbag with a hashtagged gag in the tagline You might be thinking "Dan leave", I try but I keep coming back like Stephen Fry For a sneak peek into Mr Bieber's life from the feedback you'd see that he's the messiah but if Jesus Christ preached gospel on Twitter I believe that the Bible'd be a lot thicker Even the scribes couldn't even describe with e-readers they need to jot quicker What literary miscellany is there if there's any we can literally lift from the litany of lists that are littered ten a penny through the interwebby? It's a very, very, very, very, little bit shit, innit?

600 million people like me like this Are you taking the piss