File:Frances (Appleton) Longfellow to Emmeline (Austin) Wadsworth, 10 May 1841 (a3a70f20-c2f7-46db-b372-24464dd05d72).jpg

Manuscript letter

Archives Number: 1011/002.001-011#006

At sea. May 10th 1841
My darling, I intend to have no mercy on your poor eyes you will think to open upon such an ominously lengthy sheet so soon after my last [crossed out: & with] and nothing but sea experiences to blot it with, but I have a craving to talk with you in some shape, for 10 days is a gap in our intercourse & I have felt it more than you will believe probable; that is, every hour in every day I have wished you were leading this odd life with me, knowing you would enjoy many things therein as much as I do & hoping the great draw-back would cling to you as little likewise. Today, par exemple, how I should like to sit you down upon our stern, (where Mr Gray has been reading Shakspeare aloud to me which sounded less majestic than usual [crossed out: with] against the poetry of huge, heaving waves of heavenblest blue & green roaring in our wake) & see the ‘joy gush up at sight’ of all there beheld; the foam, the rush, the majestic motion, the Niagara-green shining through the crest of every lifting billow & around & over all this exhilarating atmosphere which scourges clouds from the sky & shadows from our hearts. But one will come, “rushing up the sea” if l indulge in vain longings of this sort. I am seated in our gallant Captain's snug berth on deck, with Miss Vandenhoff as Juliet before me (not in reality but in print) & the Doctor's guitar with the blue ribbon beside me, on which the Capt has been strumming till I sent him off to see to the ship,! & which has put me in a very sentimental mood as you see, having, as a whet to fancy (& appetite) just swallowed for lunch a dozen pickled oysters (mention it not in Gath), several lobster claws & a huge bumper of sarsaparilla!! Behold how I have 'suffered a sea change' & become fishified! Tom is cutting out shades for ev' g divertissement & thinking of an epitaph for the last cigar, for, rash spendthrift, he has finished already your bountiful supply, having bestowed one or two upon the Capt. who warmly eulogizes them & longs to make yr acquaintance having instinctive admiration for a lady who has such consummate taste. Miss V. is promenading with her constant escort Capt Miller (a very gentlemanly, merry personage) & their mutual laughs are chiming with a yaw hawl of the sailors & the swashing sound of the water confusing my brain sadly, but tho' my hand is jarring, too, as if l had the palsy I shall inflict upon you some account of our doings this past week. When yr eyes cry ‘quarter’ throw it aside or skip all but the postscript which shall announce our arrival on terra firma & is the only really important matter you are concerned about. May 11th Thus far only got I, yesterday, when the bugle blew for dinner, after which the fiddles were out upon deck & we danced a very merry quadrille & reel after a Bacchanal fashion, truly reeling as if the sea air were Champagne, which it is for exhilaration. Mr Gray was thereby inspired to caper with me, a sight for Gods & men! [p. 2] the sailors looking wonderingly upon our sliding steps. I must take you back to Halifax & tell you a little of my day there. We arr'd [crossed out: there] a stormy mn’g, & having peeped thro’ the rain at its tumble-down wooden houses embrowning a hill-side (very like Newport from the water) we resolved to keep snugly on board till it held up. Sir John Caldwell (petrel every where, you know) came to see us with young Cunard who civilly urged me to pay his sisters a visit on shore, sent down his carriage & escorted me to his Papa's handsome mansion, overlooking the town & shipping. I felt a little awkward at being thrust, in this way, upon the privacy of a group of unknown damsels but they speedily made me at home by continuing their work, &c & it gained me a very agreeable recollection of Halifax. The eldest (I suppose) Mrs Franklin is very pretty, douce, quiet & soft-spoken, about 26, a soldier's wife, then there is Miss Cunard, a very elegant girl of pale complexion, regular features, very black hair & a fine figure who has been to London & did the honors of lunch & dinner with quite a distingué air. Miss Lawson called on me there & chatted thro’ the former meal. I was ashamed that I had never noticed her long visit to our parts. After lunch young Campbell who was in Boston dropped in & the 3 juvenilish girls having set off for a walk Miss C. took Tom & I a very pretty drive round the basin in a low-hung English carriage. The mélange of English & American characteristics is very confusing & amusing there. The land is bleak, rough, with our fences, our crops of stones &c. while the habits of the people are all English, & the luxury of Mr Cunard’s house contrasting with the shabbiness of the town, the London elegancies & the pavement-less streets show us British colonial life à l’outrance. I had on my sea-costume, only intending to intrude on them for an hour, but found to my dismay there was probability that we should not sail till next mn’g as the mail was not in from St. Johns, so had no excuse for refusing their civil demand that we should remain to dinner for which they, à l'Anglaise, arrayed themselves in full dress. Miss C. in black satin with short sleeves looking quite magnifique, her sister in light blue & to complete the party Capt’s Miller & Judkins & our Welsh Lieut Jones. This latter is lord of the Mails & the highest authority on board for the Capt is responsible to him for our progress & as last night we slackened our speed for an hour, the boilers having boiled over, thro’ an incrustation of salt on their bottoms, he has been just inditing [sic] a formal apology to the same to be shown the agents. Imme’ly after dinner, which was a remarkably recherché one, we took leave of this nice family one of whose days we had so coolly monopolized, & embarked again, this relish of land life proving, as we expected, a very refreshing episode in the voyage. But, I assure you, this steaming is all play-sailing compared to packet experience & the big Atlantic itself seems vastly shrunken & dwarfed to me now that we are rushing across it so comfortably, so independant [sic] of its head winds, so little wrench [p. 3] ed from our equilibrium by its uneasy tossings & tumblings. I little thought I could prefer a steamer but so it is. We have no excuse for grumbling at any-thing but the loss of those compagnons de voyage we were promised. The passengers are not too numerous nor too sea-sick. Are all quiet, well-behaved folks, neither smoke, drink, walk nor talk too much. This is great good luck. The ladies visible on deck are, imprimis, myself at all hours & in all winds (for but one rainy day as yet) walking with Captain Judkins, our excellent, good-natured, straight-forward head, who is forever teasing to be of service & is never disturbed in mind by icebergs, nor by sickly boilers “refusing their food,” nor by any-thing except passengers refusing the like, is a rough, honest sailor & won my good will the first night by promising that the band should wake me daily with the Cracovienne as a souvenir of you which they have done ever since, after ‘God save the king’ & ‘Behold how brightly breaks the morning.’ Next, for sea-wear to myself, comes Miss Vandenhoff with her Captain. I like her much & have had a few nice talks with her about stage life. She & her Mother have the warmest admiration of Mason Warren who attended the latter thro’ her severe illness in Boston. Mrs V. is an amiable commonplace person, very seldom above stairs, as also her prettyish niece Miss Caroline V. Van himself has not given us his voice except in very good jokes & puns at dinner & yesday by reading an eloquent sermon of Chalmers after service. I had no idea he w’d turn out so gentlemanly & agreeable a person. His son Henry makes atrocious puns likewise; skips about decks, rivals Tom at shuffle-board & talks of Washington St & its fair promenaders. To continue my catalogue we have a pretty little Mrs Winter, (a most mal à propos name for she is in the very May of life & matrimony) who has a young baby amazingly quiet, & a handsome embrassed [embrowned?] husband Captain in the army. What a shuttle-cock life these poor soldiers’ wives lead, tossed hither & thither continually. She has just left Bermuda & talks with the cunningest Irish accent of her delight in returning to ‘ould Ireland’ for a few months. Mrs Carter & Blake are sea-sick & consequently neutral in every way. Miss Rebecca Lee is a good sailor & has that mixture of naïveté & intelligence which is so delightful. With the gents we have made no acquaintance. So much for our passengers. I will try to give you ‘metal more attractive’ but if you knew what a difficult task it is to write at sea, the confusion of ideas consequent upon such incessant shaking & the peculiar languor & indolence ever attending a South wind you would not marvel at these involved, fly-away sentences. Before I finish you will exclaim, if not now, with Johnson, “would it were impossible”! I must give you an account of the ice-bergs & porpoises however. [p. 4] Voilà my log of the eventful day Thursday last. Just after breakfast spoke the Susan Cummings who reported having seen ice 60 miles off. Her decks crammed with emigrants; “an apparition sent to be a moment's ornament” for she vanished like a spirit in our smoke. Saw a whale spouting afar off; then an immense shoal of porpoises chased us, leaping into the sun & skipping to the music of Cracovienne as if they were fond of the air, making grave ocean’s countenance appear flashing with fun. At 6 P.M. it became very cold, thermometer fell from 60 to 40 in the air & in the water from 56 to 37 & soon 10 icebergs became visible on the horizon! We passed within a mile of the largest which Capt calculated to be ¼ of a mile long & 80 feet high. It resembled in shape a steamer at a distance, greenish in the crevices & snow-frosted on top. I declared it the ghost of the President or the last edition of the Flying Dutchman which should henceforth go by steam. “Every future Nelson will be the hero of a paddle-box” says our Captain. This was a grand spectre I assure you, so huge with such an icy breath, not moving, as Dana describes them, nor of such majestic form – but satisfactory show for such cockney sailors as we are, to boast about. Large masses fell from its icy cliffs splashing up the water famously & the Capt feared we might encounter these detached pieces; was evidently greatly relieved when we had passed all danger & resumed our wonted atmosphere with nothing to break our horizon but bona fide ships. We have spoken & exchanged signals every day with these, having once an immense fleet within sight; chiefly brigs & barks crammed with emigrants & hanging & pitching on the waves as if to ‘kiss their burial’ at each successive heave; so like those French clocks in motion, where you have seen mimic ships on a mimic sea. I hope some of them will report us in America for the unusual quantity of ice will make you anxious about us not knowing how far South we ran to avoid it. I felt no alarm & am delighted that this great desire of mine has been gratified. It gave me a more distinct idea of the Northern ocean then I ever got from Parry or Ross's accounts. More striking in this latitude than there, as Roman ruins astonish most out of Italy. May 14th. The top o’ the morning (& a fine illegant mornin too) to you my darlint! Here we are sliding up the Channell [sic] beneath a sky that could not be outdone for brilliancy yr side the water, with fine hazy highlands of the Irish coast on our horizon & Kinsale fishermen running about us. Saw land early this mng which roused me before the band began “Yankee Doodle,” the Capt’s promised signal to announce it, but there is little excitement after such a short voyage. Tomorrow at noon we hope to be in Liverpool where we [p. 5] shall pass Sunday & take the cars for London the next mn’g. I am restless with joy at the thought of being so near my darlings & yet it seems all a dream; the passage only an intervening yawn. Yesterday being our last day fairly at sea & a very quiet one we were ever so merry & had a famous show at table & great singing from the gents at dessert, just finding out their capacities as we part. All the ladies but the sea-sick bride Mrs Carter on deck to dance a reel, eked out by frisking male couple highly diverting. The Dr sang songs to the Capt & myself all ev’g to his guitar & all night two Germans kept it up, one, a tall good-looking youth having been easily persuaded by the quizzing Lieut Jones that the ladies (that is Miss V & myself I conclude) were quite éperdument éprises of his voice & person.
I feel almost sorry to quit the ship we are having such amusing times but so much more is in store for me! Never was Captain so devoted to any she but a ship, as our right worthy one to me, but don’t be alarmed there is a Mrs J. on shore to whom I must, speedily, resign him. He has just been giving me such a sailor-like account of his courtship from the first penchant to the happy finale. I promise to send a letter to you by him his next trip that he may deliver it in person. I have said nothing about the other officers. The 1st Off is Mr Bolton, a good-looking, dapper personage who sports his gold-rimmed cap with a most knowing haul to one side & flourishes about in a picturesque bear-skin surtout but knows not our quadrilles because the “10th never dance” & he scorns to depart from their rules. The 2d is likewise short with less of the dandy & t’other is a rough sailor burnt to lobster color. The Dr is a stoutish, very modest, nice sort of person, who messes with the other gold rims so we have seen him rarely. But enough [p. 6] enough of the good ship Columbia & all it contains. You must be weary of such indifferent matter. I will spare you, my jewel, until I tread terra firma. Your dear flowers survived bravely & there are still a few geranium leaves left green which I shall bear on shore & show to Mary. I envy Miss Lee who has preserved hers miraculously & they still bloom in their brightest colours. My heart is cruelly pulled two ways – half holding back to you & the other bounding toward England. Soon you shall have more of it, so don't be disconsolate.
Liverpool, May 15. Saturday ev' g. Actually on terra firma my best darling & sitting at an English tea-table as quietly as if it were my own. But my brain aches not a little with the excitement of landing, in a very hot sun too. (2 such days & such speed as we displayed in them rarely known in St George's Channel) & the confusion of beholding so many new faces & colors, - every-thing bewildering at first of course from its oddity but so much less so to me this 2d time & it seems indeed but yesterday since I was in this very hotel, looking down this smoky street. We had a magnificent arrival taking the pilot early this mn’g – who brought the news that every hope of the poor President's safety is blasted. What a strange & awful Providence for Sophia! I cannot help however wicked it may be feeling greatly relieved by this finale. While dining, after the blessed comfort of a bath, [p. 7] on fried soles, asparagus & Spring chickens, our elegant white neckclothed waiter produced a letter from Mac & Mary which has set my pulse beating at such a rate I am impatient to be off in the morning & not rest a day as we first intended. If so I must speedily retire & try to sleep on the new luxury of a bed instead of a shelf. A thousand blessings on you my love! Remember I am ever with you in thought & may God cheer & sustain you thro’ this passing shade as he has thro’ the shadows of the dark valley.
Tell Mr. Prescott (with my love) I have lamented continually his absence on board, [crossed out: for] and he would have found himself nearly as comfortable as in his parlour in Bedford St. & there was the nicest stewardess who should have seen he caught no cold thro’ the crevices of neglected gloves. (Mary Dwight is my authority for this peril, one of the feathers in the balance so disastrous for us!) I am convinced the Columbia is the best boat for many reasons & shall endeavor to return on her. I cant tell you how near you I feel! Believe that I am so, & comfort every body you can that is distressed on my acc’t! Good bye again. I have just been walking down famously fine streets (as they seem now) to abuse Nelson's melodramatic statue & laugh at the droll of costumes. Tom is au déspoir already at the lack of tournure! My kindest remembrances to [p. 8 top] yr Father & Sam & to the Ticknors, Prescotts & Mary Dwight. I long to hear how you all get on without us! What conceit! you are responsible for it. Yrs in a hurry & flurry but with truest & steadiest love Fanny E.A –
[p. 8 bottom] You came very near losing this hodg podg – for as we descended the ship’s side my desk whirled overboard & I thought was lost but the activity of two sturdy tars shot a boat so swiftly in its wake that it was restored to me hardly damped through –
Tom sends all manner of kind thoughts to you all –
ADDRESSED: MISS AUSTIN. / CARE OF SAML AUSTIN ESQ. / BOSTON. MASS. / U.S.A.
ANNOTATED, PENCIL: 44 BEACON

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