File:Thomas Butler Gunn Diaries- Volume 7, page 181, December 8-13, 1855.jpg

Transcription:

into effect by him and carpenter sans arrangement with [Joseph] Greatbatch. Well. The man now sends in his bill, which amounts to 2000, or $3000, to the surprise of both, at the amount sum. Greatbatch is unwilling to bind himself to pay $400 yearly; — (he had agreed to hand over $1000 to Alcock as part payment for the firm,) and so the matter rests. $1000 Greatbatch wants for stock, furniture &c, — to keep on. Mary Anne [Greatbatch] was crying, and after much talk, they departed for Long Island, leaving purchases here, and unknowing whether they’d throw up the whole business, and start afresh in life. I dined at 3 1/2, went to Post Office, returned, saw Sol [Eytinge] and W. Waud in at Wurzbach’s, and sat till 12 in my den writing.

9. Sunday. A dark and persistently rainy day. In doors and dismal till the afternoon, when to [132] Bleecker Street, and after supping, to the Edwards’ [745 Broadway] with [Jesse] Haney.

To the 13th, Thursday. The old horror upon me again with tenfold violence, accompanied with extreme physical illness. The form of it thus, as closely as I can put down. Rising in the morning with the old terror of ‘another new day,’ I get to work with an anxious desire to do a great deal, and a secret dread of failure, which helps to produce it. An hour after noon and I have a burning throbbing headache, succeeded by a despondency, or rather feeling of utter despair, which is perfectly indescribable. I seem to have no power to cast it off or reason against it. And then comes a terrible hysterical affection, which sets me crying, and holding my head between my hands in agony. Old