File:Opie Read in the Ozarks, including many of the rich, rare, quaint, eccentric, ignorant and superstitious sayings of the natives of Missouri and Arkansaw (1905) (14766328711).jpg

Identifier: opiereadinozarks00read (find matches)
Title: Opie Read in the Ozarks, including many of the rich, rare, quaint, eccentric, ignorant and superstitious sayings of the natives of Missouri and Arkansaw
Year: 1905 (1900s)
Authors: Read, Opie Percival, 1852-1939
Subjects:
Publisher: Chicago, R. B. McKnight & Co
Contributing Library: The Library of Congress
Digitizing Sponsor: The Library of Congress

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etter in this office for me,an Im goin to have it. Look here, bones, if thar was fifty letters in herefur you, you couldnt git em lessen I said so. You dont say so? Thats exactly what I say. Why, you dont know me, do you? No, and I aint hurtin atter yo quaintance. Wall, if its any information, I will remark thatI am the man that made Jesse James run once. Thats nuthin, so fur as personal complishmentgoes. These boys will tell you that I spit at a wildhog once and raised a three-cornered blister betweenhis eyes. You dont begin to say so! And atter all it is aputty good personal complishment. Its strange,though, that you never hearn of me. I grabbed a pan-ther once and tied a knot in his tail, and it took himthree weeks of close attention to business to get itout. You dont say so! But after all that was doinputty well fur a man that simply wanted to throw awayhis time. I uster idle away my time that a-way. Iricolleck once that I was out in the Rocky Mountains OPIE READ IN THE OZARKS. II
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12 OPIE READ IN THE OZARKS. when who should come along but a grizzly bear that Iwasnt acquainted with at all, but I spoke to him sor-ter polite like, and he ups with his paw and struck atme. I told him not to take such violent exercise justafter dinner, but he frowned on my advice and struckat me agin. Then I got sorter riled, and I grabbedhim, snatched out his tongue, split it, and tied theends over the top of his head. Yes, I used to be agood deal of a idler. The point of this narrative is that no slim, gentle-manly fellow came up just at that moment and madethe two boasting bullies eat dirt; neither did the post-masters wife appear and lead her lord away by theear. There are, after all, a great many unconventionalthings in this world. Have you any excuse? asked the judge of a manwho had been summoned on the jury. Yes, sir, my wife is sick. Not a legal excuse. We want a good jury forthis case, a case of train-robbing. Any other excuse? Yes, sir, I have rheumatism. Not a legal excuse

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