File:Of all things (1922) (14595057769).jpg

Identifier: ofallthings00benc (find matches)
Title: Of all things
Year: 1922 (1920s)
Authors: Benchley, Robert, 1889-1945
Subjects:
Publisher: London : John Lane, The Bodley Head
Contributing Library: University Library, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
Digitizing Sponsor: University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

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oices, calhng for Mr. Bla-bla, Mr.Schwer-a-a, Mr. Twa-a-a. Out of this wealth of experimental material Ipicked a boy with a discouraged voice like WallaceEddingers, who seemed to be sa3dng Im callingthese names—because thats my job—if I wasntcalling these—Id be calHng out cash totals in anhonour system lunchery—but if any one shouldever answer to one of these names—Id have apoor spell. Allowing about fifteen feet distance between usfor appearances sake, I followed him through thelobby. He had a bunch of slips in his hand andfrom these he read the names of the pagees. Call for Mr. Ken worthy—Mr. Shriner—Mr.Bodkin—Mr. Blevitch—Mr. Kenworthy—Mr. Bod-kin—Mr. Kenworthy—Mr. Shriner—call for Mr.Kenworthy—Mr. Blevitch—Mr. Kenworthy. Mr. Kenworthy seemed to be standing about a20 per cent, better chance of being located thanany of the other contestants. Probably the boywas of a romantic temperament and liked the name.Sometimes that was the only name he would call I
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Sometimes that was the only name he would call for mileupon mile. CALL FOR MR. KENWORTHY! 113 for mile upon mile. It occurred to me that perhapsMr. Kenworthy was the only one wanted, and thatthe other names were just put in to make it harder,or to give body to the thing. But when we entered the bar the youth shiftedhis attack. The name of Kenworthy evidently hadbegun to cloy. He was fed up on romance andwanted something substantial, homely, perhaps, butsubstantial. So he dropped Kenworthy and called : Mr.Blevitch. Call for Mr. Blevitch—Mr. Shriner—Mr. Bodkin—Mr. Blevitch But even this subtle change of tactics failed tonet him a customer. We had gone through themain lobby, along the narrow passage Hned withyoung men waiting on sofas for young women whowould be forty minutes late, through the griU,and now had crossed the bar, and no one had raisedeven an eyebrow. No wonder the boys voicesounded discouraged. As we went through one of the lesser dining-rooms, the dining-room that se

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