File:American etiquette and rules of politeness (1883) (14804232473).jpg

Identifier: americanetiquett00houg (find matches)
Title: American etiquette and rules of politeness
Year: 1883 (1880s)
Authors: Houghton, Walter R. (Walter Raleigh), 1845-1929
Subjects: Etiquette
Publisher: New York : Standard Pub. Co.
Contributing Library: Smithsonian Libraries
Digitizing Sponsor: Smithsonian Libraries

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woman toaccept or reject, and a lady of taste and kind heartwill exercise her prerogative before the man has madean open proposal. No well bred lady will appeareager for the attentions of a gentleman, no matterhow much she may admire him; nor, on the otherhand, will she, be so reserved as to altogether discour-age him. Because a man shows considerable attentionit does not follow that he is a lover. Under a mis-taken idea of gallantry, young men often go too far inthis respect. The young lady can always tell, how-ever, what his motives are, and should treat himaccordingly. Some young ladies think it smart toencourage a proposal and then refuse it. This is nota sign of good breeding; besides, her motives willsoon become generally known, and she will be re-garded as a flirt. HASTY PBOPOSALS. It is very unwise, not to say presumptuous, for agentleman to make a proposal to a young lady on atoo brief acquaintance. Such hasty proposals gener-ally come from mere adventurers, or else from mere
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(188) COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE. 189 novices in love, so that in either case they are to berejected. A lady who would accept a gentleman atfirst sight can hardly possess the discretion needed tomake a good wife. THOROUGH ACQUAINTANCE BEFORE MARRIAGE. There may be such a thing as love at first sight, andif there is, it is not a very risky thing upon which tobase a marriage. Couples should know each otherthoroughly before they become engaged. They shouldbe certain that their tastes and temperaments harmo-nize, and that their society will be congenial each tothe other. * UNKNO WN CORRESPONDENTS. There has grown up lately quite a fashion of havingwhat are called unknown correspondents. A younglady or gentleman will perhaps advertise, giving adescription of herself or himself, but withholding thename, and ask for a correspondent. Though such anexperiment is tried more for curiosity than anythingelse, it not infrequently results in marriage. Often wehear of couples seeing each other for the fi

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